You never read tech news, do you? Good. Somehow, the story of the accidental early release of a Facebook iPad app everyone was expecting is threatening to turn into a week-long saga. Make it stop! This is the most boring shit ever.

Madonna's new album, Hard Candy, comes out on the 29th. Can't wait that long? Geez, what's wrong with you? But, okay, here are here are seven high quality tracks off the album.

The snack-and-coffee-filled minikitchens at the Googleplex are "the hottest topic" on one of the internal forums lately, says an internal message leaked to Valleywag. (Indeed, a former employee told me last night that once, an employee e-mailed the entire company bitching that his desk was more than 200 feet from one of Google's cafes.) That's why Google is now putting chefs in charge of the minikitchens at its HQ.