Yesterday, Democrat and Republican lawmakers—guided by President Obama—reached a deal that extended tax cuts for all Americans (including the rich). Congress also agreed to continue its spending. Tonight, Jon Stewart pointed out the inherent incongruence of this.

The House of Representatives has passed a bill mandating lower volumes for TV commercials. Activist government!

Congress has passed a $600 million border security bill, sending additional troops and weapons and death planes to defeat the Mexican Menace. So, now that they've gotten their "war stuff," will Republicans work with Democrats on comprehensive immigration reform? Heh.

Hey, your Congress did something today! The House passed a bill (already passed by the Senate) to reduce a relic of '80s-style freak-out legislation: reducing the massive disparity between powder and crack cocaine prison sentences.

Did you know that Sen. Scott Brown is our President, right now? He's calling all the shots on financial reform! He got what he wanted yesterday — removal of a bank tax — but still won't pledge to vote yes.

It didn't take sexy Massachusetts Sen. Scott Brown long to become Washington's Greatest Corporate Whore, did it? After Democrats inserted loopholes specifically to secure his vote, Brown has decided to vote no on the financial reform bill, threatening its passage.

Ugh: So, single- vs. double-sided printing is now a health care issue. Republicans are lugging around copies of the health care bill to protest "big" government (HA)—but they are unsustainably printing single-sided to make the bill look bigger!

Supposedly it is voice actors. "Working voice actors," with "busy lives." But we definitely heard a guy with a non-Plains State regional accent. That's no working voice actor!