Liberals love Subaru cars. In certain woodsy towns filled with wealthy former hippies, Subarus have long been the default automobile. So why is the company now mocking public transportation, the most hallowed of elite coastal liberal institutions?

Camping, crafts, and uniforms have always held a special allure for some kids; too bad the main sponsor of those activities, the Boy Scouts of America, excludes gays, atheists, and girls.

Oh, dreamy South American Pope Francis, restoring hope in a vibrant, evolving Catholic Church. He's just the pontiff we need to root out the perverted scourge that for so long has besmirched the clergy's ranks: ladies with opinions on things.

Here are three things that have happened this week, in order of how difficult they are to believe. Depending on your own levels of credulousness, you may find yourself able to believe in them out of order. This is fine; the human condition is varied and complex.

It's the middle of the afternoon, do you know where your children are? You'd better hope they're hanging out with the lesbian couple down the street, because, as it turns out, lesbians make for wonderful parents.

Houston restaurant Beaver's endorses marriage equality, and not just because chef-owner Monica Pope is a lesbian. The political sandwich precedent has been set.

Ask and ye shall receive. Today we told you about the sex scandal surrounding Florida Lieutenant Governor Jennifer Carroll—specifically, that Carletha Cole, a former aide of Carroll's, says that she walked in on the Lt. Gov being orally serviced by Beatriz Ramos, her travel aide.

Jennifer Carroll is Florida's Lieutenant Governor, second in command to the insane and unpopular Rick Scott. Carroll is one of the few nationally prominent black female Republicans. (She is also insane, but that's a topic for another day.) A former aide to Carroll says that she walked in on her in a sexually compromising position with Beatriz Ramos, Carroll's travel aide. So then—where is Beatriz Ramos?

Andrea Peyser, New York's leading heterosexual sex columnist, has an opinion on the very latest news in the case of the Alleged Hot Lesbian Teachers—last week's ruling that Alleged Hot Lesbian Teacher Alini Brito may return to the classroom. As your leading internet aggregator of Alleged Hot Lesbian Teacher news, we are obligated to bring this opinion to you. Here it is:

We're all familiar with the case of the Alleged Hot Lesbian Teachers, who were allegedly caught in a hot classroom having hot lesbian sex (with each other), in the classroom, at the school. Yeah. Very familiar. *Disturbing leer* As journalists—*Disturbing leer*—we're committed to keeping you up to date with Alleged Hot Lesbian Teacher sex developments. Yeah. These things develop, alright. *Disturbing leer*

According to a new CNN/ORC International poll, 60 percent of Americans say they have a family member or close friend who is gay or lesbian.

Big news out of Cape Cod today last June, where a woman who lost her first childhood bike in a river 42 years ago has been reacquainted with it.

Most of the common theories surrounding Whitney Houston's descent into drugs and eventual death have to do with the influence of her husband Bobby Brown. Now there's a new interesting theory. Maybe it wasn't her marriage to Bobby that turned her into an addict but breaking up with her lesbian lover, Robyn Crawford.

Azealia Banks is the smiley young crush object of certain internet types due in no small part to lyrics like, "Kick it with ya bitch that come from Parisian/ She know where I get mine from, end of season/ Now she wanna lick my plum in the evening/ And fit that tongue-tongue d-deep in/ I guess that cunt gettin eaten." She's also harboring a deep, dark secret, revealed for the first time officially in John Ortved's New York Times profile of her today:

It's too bad the world is going to end next year, because sometimes it seems like it might actually be kind of okay: this is a video of Petty Officer 2nd Class Marissa Gaeta, chosen by raffle to receive the ritual first homecoming kiss, greeting her fiancée Citlalic Snell on the pier—the first same-sex homecoming kiss in Navy history. The couple met in boot camp and kept their relationship secret until the September repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell. "It's nice to be able to be myself," says Gaeta. [Virginian-Pilot]

The life of Jenna Lyons—the J. Crew creative director who drove conservative idiots to madness by daring to paint her son's toenails pink—has either turned into a full-blown culture war nightmare, or the inspiration for a quirky/heartbreaking indie film.

Southwest Airlines, the Official Airline of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, loves gay people. Just loves 'em! Unless they are doing gross gay stuff like gay-kissing their gay girlfriends on the plane, in which case, they are not allowed.

Gay men always get stereotyped as being drama queens while the lesbians escape the rap. Well, let's look at the case of Angela DeHart, the lesbian car thief who boosted a hearse with a body in the backseat. This crazy story will change the stereotype.

Finally, television is directly addressing the lesbo community. Also today: Candace Bushnell will never go away, Keira Knightley sets out to do another prestige project, and Michael Keaton has been found.

Wisconsin Rep. Tammy Baldwin has announced she'll run for Senate, and "she will very likely be considered the front-runner for the Democratic nomination." She would be the first openly gay senator in history.