Those photos of actress and pop singer Lindsay Lohan nuzzling her "close friend," DJ Samantha Ronson, have attracted surprisingly little attention. A lot of female celebrities pretend to have girl crushes—it's edgy—and at first we automatically dismissed the images as publicity-seeking. Even the confirmation of a relationship by Lohan's semi-estranged father can be dismissed as his own quest for attention. But the relationship between the freshly rehabbed star and her lesbian friend is quite extraordinary, and here's why:

Oh, wow, so have you heard this crazy thing about how female bisexuality is kind of hot right now? And how apparently female celebrities are hooking up with other women to boost their cachet, and TV shows are depicting girls kissing other girls, and there's this cutting-edge idea of sexuality being a spectrum instead of an either-or thing? Yes? The media strapped on lesbian-curious themes years ago and has been ramming them down your throat despite muffled cries for mercy? Well, unfortunately, Harvard-trained medical anthropologist Brittany Blockman, 27, didn't hear about any of these exciting developments in the evolution of American sexuality until Mischa Barton kissed some other actress on The OC, and she's been busy appropriating girl-on-girl sexuality for a documentary called Bi The Way that just came out. Her co-director was another (self-described) naive 27-year-old, Josephine Decker, who told the Times Style section she is totally dying to have one of those lesbian flings that are so hot right now:

Barring legal challenges, gay couples can begin marrying in California starting June 17. Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will eventually wed, but the wire services needed some examples of couples getting into the spirit now, or maybe some archive stuff from the gay marriages four years ago in San Francisco. Reuters surfaced the picture on the left; the Associated Press the one on the right. As Daniel Radosh notes, "Ninety thousand lesbians in California, and the AP just happened to find the professional belly dancer. That's what I call a nose for news." Maybe there was some smart thinking behind the AP's strange new celebrity news division; the wire service has already learned to think like the paparazzi. [Radosh]

As we established previously, little is happening movie- or industry-wise at the Cannes Film Festival; even Croisette-weary NY Times critic A.O. Scott is officially on the record now with his ambivalence about this year's crop. As such, we lead today's fest news round-up not with the general befuddlement over Synecdoche, New York or continued rapture around Che, but with the only story worth our consideration as the event slumps, thuds and dies until a phoenix-like restoration in 2009: OMG Is Lindsay, like, totally kissing Samantha Ronson? More press conference photos shameless paparazzi indulgence after the jump.

The Daily Mail explains, as if it's 1984, that even though the Sex and the City actress and her girlfriend look totally different, they still support each other. They even do things (dinner and the theater) that heterosexual couples do. They cannot stay away from quoting various descriptors of Christine Marinoni: "a great big lesbian in a lumberjack shirt" who is "short and dumpy" and "makes a point of being as unladylike as possible." Hey, Brits: we call ladies like that butch, and she could kick your ass. It's suggested that Nixon is keeping her life with her lesbian partner "discreet" as she promotes the most heterosexual movie of all time. [Daily Mail]

Hiding in Hip Hop, entertainment industry vet Terrance Dean's coy tell-all book about the gay secrets of famous people in the music world and Hollywood at large, has not exhausted all of its blind items. Not by a long shot. And I was forced to read (a large portion of) this book, so I plan to bring these gay celebrity blind items to you, the curious masses. Today: the lesbians! And at least one is very obvious:

Jackie Warner, the personal trainer star of Bravo's reality show Workout and popular fantasy girlfriend of straight women, is facing a fan backlash for acting rude on the show. They're calling for a boycott! Apparently she fired a guy named Peeler (rudely), and now she's being branded as a "negative icon to the gay community." Harsh! Shouldn't that type of forceful condemnation be reserved for, you know, Perez Hilton? [LA Rag Mag]

Many and many straight, married gals get all hot and woozy when they watch sinewy lesbian Jackie Warner flex that sweaty six-pack on Bravo's reality show Work Out. "Andy Cohen, senior vice president of programming and production for Bravo, said: 'Straight women across the country are not only obsessed with the show, they are obsessed with Jackie.' Obsessed? 'I cannot tell you how many of the e-mails that we got from last year's ‘Work Out' reunion that were women saying, ‘I am married. I have never looked at another woman. I have a huge crush on Jackie,' Mr. Cohen said." But Jackie's all, meh.

Despite her "power lesbian" publicist vehemently lashing out against all those pesky lesbian rumors, Ellen Page still has her work cut out for her when it comes to convincing us she doesn't (even on occasion) prefer girls. The Smart People star appeared on Leno last night to obediently promote the film, and even though Page got slightly more gussied up than usual in a tight-ish dress and heels, her inability to cross those legs comfortably coupled with an imitation of what someone looks like "lifting weights in the sunshine" did little to disspell our suspicions.

E! online's Ted Casablanca loves to dish at length, on Fridays, about anonymous celebrities and their crazy, crazy lives. Today he talks about "Browhilda Frown-Free" a successful actress who likes to sleep with women. She has fake relationships with men, like you do in Hollywood, but her current pretend suitor is making some unpleasant noise about her Sapphistry. She's not happy! Hollywood is scandalized! In secret! Casablanca goes on at length, after the jump.

New York Daily News is teasing us about a lady Hollywood type (a "TV vixen" they call her!) who shacked up in New York City during her strike vacation and spent romantical time with... another woman. Who could it be? We'll give you a hint at our theory: it starts with an "S" and ends with an "ue Johanson even though she lives in Canada and it's definitely not her but it would be so great if it was." [NYDN via Queerty] Hey, guessing lesbians is fun! We should do it more often.

PageSix ran two particularly prurient blind items this morning. The first is about a surreptitious fondler of ladies, the second a fashion designer with a Sapphic taste for Latinas. I'm really bad at figuring these things out, but am, pathetically, infinitely curious.

Back in the 1990s, crime author Patricia Cornwell (of the Kay Scarpetta series) seduced Margo Bennett, an FBI agent. It sort of didn't work out: Bennett's husband, also an agent, planned a kidnapping and attempted murder in revenge. (Perhaps proving that most men are only into the film versions of lesbian affairs). Love's a bitch! Page Six details the hot action, as detailed by upcoming book Twisted Triangle.

Have you seen the website "men who look like old lesbians"? Its genius lies in its simplicity. We have never been able to put our finger, before, on what exactly it is about Kyle MacLachlan and Psychedelic Furs singer Richard Butler and Canadian singer-songwriter Bruce Cockburn (pictured) but: that's what it is.

In the yet-to-be written history of women and lesbians who've done important things during what they used to call the AIDS crisis—Rebecca Brown, who wrote the best book to date about AIDS, Terry McGovern, who founded the HIV Law Project, basically the whole staff of the staff of the Center for HIV Law and Policy—has there been any greater hero than this week's Modern Love columnist, Virginia A. Smith?

Students at a Westchester middle school accidentally received a sex ed lesson that was informative, helpful, and totally awesome. Kids were given a brochure that "included material on oral and anal sex and how lesbians can protect themselves from HIV," and now all those annoying commuter parents are outraged and shocked. Thousands of childhoods sullied by descriptions of assplay!

Generations of Brady Bunch fans were shocked to learn of the Marcia/Jan lesbian teen romp rumors that set the internets ablaze on Friday, finding it difficult to envision Marcia combing the back of her mullet 100 times before engaging her sister in a vigorous tribbing session beneath a faded Billie Jean King poster. It promised to be the most unforgettable chapter of Here's the Story, Maureen McCormick's upcoming memoir—and one the publisher doesn't remember reading:

Some months ago, titillating news of a Brady Bunch porn led us to indulge our wildest combined-'70s-sitcom-family fantasies, as we shamefully revealed for you the most outrageous Brady-on-Brady coupling our filthy minds could conjure: Jan taking out years of frustration on her more popular sister with one sweaty, unhinged hate-fuck. Were we only to know just how close to the truth we were:

Are you and your family free this Thursday, July 26? Are you attractive? Can you read an ad that's only barely written in English? Then you may be able to participate in a Real Simple photo shoot! You'll even get $200!

A special advertising section on Elle is sponsored by the Showtime series The L Word. Hmm, what do they think these lesbians are buying these days? A lot of pretty fugly clothes and jewelry, that's what!