NBC News and MSNBC chairman Andrew Lack announced today that Lester Holt will officially replace Brian Williams as permanent anchor of NBC Nightly News. Brian Williams will return to MSNBC, the network he left in 2004. Who says you can’t go home.

Now, what you hear is not a test: this is NBC News' Brian Williams and Lester Holt, rapping the classic old-school hip-hop track "Rapper's Delight," originally by the Sugarhill gang.

The celebrities have begun trickling out of their castles, mansions, and forest lairs to host or hit up Halloween parties, collect their high-calorie holiday booty, and inspire jealousy-driven shut-ins like us to mock their outfits.

In your enlightening Wednesday media column: Bob Woodward hates the internet, Newark has a friend in Arianna, magazine editors return to magazines, I Want Media gets purchased, and Lester Holt is irradiated.

In your icy Tuesday media column: Michael Wolff vs. David Carr vol. 89, a belated apology for the "worst deal of the century," a Christian is found in the liberal media, and the NYT luvs Kim Kardashian (maybe).

First Jacques Chirac was mauled by his Maltese. And this morning, Lester Holt was viciously bitten on the face by a bloodthirsty young Rottweiler. When will we fight back against the canine menace?