What happened on Larry King Live last night? Why was Larry panting over and fondling Levi Johnston's tattoo? What was with the creepy "sheep sex in the woods" undertones?

• The New York Times Co.'s bank balance is running a bit low, but that hasn't detered the company from handing out lavish pay packages. The company's CEO, Janet Robinson, received a total compensation package valued at $5.58 million in 2008, up from $4.14 million in 2007. [NYP, HP]
• Is Rachel Maddow losing her glow? March was the lowest-rated month so far for Maddow's MSNBC show since its debut last fall. [LAT]
• The Chicago Tribune plans to cut another 20 percent of its newsroom staff as it looks to reduce expenses amid continuing declines in advertising. [CB]
• Yahoo posted a 78 percent decline in quarterly profits and said it would eliminate about 675 more jobs, or 5% of its work force. [WSJ]
• Tonight is Len Berman's last night at WNBC. [NYDN]

Levi Johnston, a 19-year-old Alaskan who, unlike Meghan McCain, has held a real job, is going to write a book. Maybe. Or maybe not!

Esquire spent a couple days with Todd Palin—"the man for American now"—last year, and just got around to publishing the story, including heartbreaking details of Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston before the crack-up.

Sarah Palin's former future son-in-law, Levi Johnston, hit the Early Show, continuing his soft-spoken media beef with the Alaska governor. He blames his breakup with Bristol Palin, the mother of his child, on the election.

Being half of a celebrity twosome has its perks, not least of which is starpower greater than the sum of its parts. But there are certain rules that should be observed. Do not, under any circumstances, appear in a treacly magazine spread rhapsodizing about your love, or you will be broken up within a month. And please, resist the temptation to get matching tattoos, especially each other's names, as history has taught us that even the most inspiring and rock-solid romantic unions—Lindsay & Sam! Chris and Rihanna! Britney & K-Fed!—cannot survive the curse of the matching ink.

There was so much to enjoy about Levi Johnston's appearance on the Tyra Banks Show, starting with the way he got caught damn near lying about always using protection with Bristol Palin.

Do you like irony? Sure, we all do! Here is a statement Sarah Palin's flack gave to People regarding the recent Tyra appearance by campaign prop and real-life boy Levi Johnston.

Sarah Palin is outraged that Alaskans elected Mark Begich instead of reelecting Ted Stevens, Heroic Bear-Wrestler and Un-convicted Felon. She demands a do-over! And no one serious agrees!

Good Morning America went to rural Alaska and cornered a 19-year-old high school dropout in his truck to ask him about his relationship with the girl he knocked up. Journalism!

Padma claims she's innocent, the Spellings are fighting again, Matt Damon's wife married better than you did, Drew Barrymore's sucking face again, Rihanna's gonna be in a movie, Jennifer Aniston's definitely not sucking face again.

Following Star's tabloid scoop on the breakup of Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston, the more respectable press sprung into action, discovering the split happened weeks ago. People is off to Alaska to learn more.

In this week's Star: hilarious and slightly depressing "gossip" from Levi Johnston's bitchy, MySpace-y sister Mercede! Do you care about the petty dramas of unwed teen parents in far-off Alaska?

Hey, it's true! Mercede Johnston really did leave that MySpace message saying Sarah Palin considers her "white trash" just because her bro Levi knocked up Bristol and her mom Sherry is a pill-popper.

Please let this be true. According to a barely literate MySpace message, Sarah Palin is snubbing the family of Levi Johnston, the jock who knocked up Bristol, because they're "white trash." (Not that we'd disagree.)

American queen Sarah Palin spent her New Year's Eve in the traditional Wasilla way: placing angry phone calls to media outlets insisting her teen (mom) daughter and her man aren't high school dropouts.

His conception has was almost immediately a national controversy. His grandmother is an accused drug dealer. It's unclear whether daddy was even around for his birth. But Bristol Palin's baby nevertheless seems chill.

Amid 2008's many sex scandals, it was a miracle there was any time left to monitor an epochal presidential election. There were many genuine, dirty affairs — and some duds inevitably got overhyped.

Good news: the mother of Sarah Palin's daughter's boyfriend was not arrested for meth. No, Sherry Johnston was arrested for oxycontin. What wonderful communities our small towns are.

The mom of Levi Johnston—first daughter candidate Bristol Palin's uncomfortable jock boyfriend—has been arrested on drug charges. Law and order Republicans now support Obama! Because this sounds vaguely like a meth lab: