Our favorite almost-nude-posing babydaddy Levi Johnston and our least favorite teenage mom turned abstinence advocate Bristol Palin are supposedly a couple again. We're a little dubious, mostly because we want so much more for our beloved Levi. [Us, photo]

Today, New York Post gossip dowager Cindy Adams (of all people) had a very important question to ask about Levi Johnston: "What happened?" We haven't heard from him in months. Where did he go? Is this exile or punishment?

We're surprised it's taken this long, but gay porn studio Jet Set Productions is filming Getting Levi's Johnson this weekend. The biggest difference between this and Levi's Playgirl shoot? Well, there will actually be wang.

Here's your first peek at the Levi Johnston photo spread that just went up on Playgirl.com [NSFW]. There's 20 photos in all and, as we said none show the whole package, so to speak. One more picture inside.

We can't see much, but this teaser that just went up on Playgirl.com [NSFW], shows that he's in the shower. Since he's not getting naked, does that mean he's wearing wet undies? Also, black and white doesn't always equal arty.

There is no wang. We repeat, there is no wang! Playgirl's seen the results of last week's photo shoot, and while there may be glimpses of Levi Johnston's baby maker, there is no full-frontal shot. Let the blame game begin!

We have confirmation from the set of Levi's Playgirl shoot that he has just posed naked with a hockey stick: "His ass is as smooth as a Sade song." Mark your calendars. This is officially Levi Johnston's Penis Appreciation Day.

At this very moment, Levi Johnston is undressing for a Playgirl photo shoot. But last night he was at The Box accepting an award from Fleshbot while a scrum of reporters poked and probed the Wasilla boy for a story.

The magazine wanted the Hotel on Rivington penthouse, but only offered $4.83 and some gum wrappers. "Their offer was well below the current rental rate. They were politely declined," said an anonymous rep for the hotel, according to Page Six.

I'm not entirely sure why they're so compelling. But here are pictures of Levi Johnston's arrival in New York for his Playgirl shoot, where he'll put Alaska's Most Famous Loin in print, via Playgirl spokesman Daniel Nardicio. Girls: go crazy.

It's been quite a day for Levi Johnston. First Page Six speculated about the size of his wang, and now he is furious with NBC over a skit Conan and William Shatner did based on his fake Twitter account.

Oh no! Page Six says Levi Johnston has reached the inevitable size-anxiety portion of his pre-Playgirl mental training, making this the perfect time for some thinly-veiled lies about why we will love him even in the event of ugly wiener.

UK Guardian reporter Ed Pilkington went to Anchorage to interview the 19 year-old babydaddy of Tripp Palin, Levi Johnston. There's audio, and some fairly interesting insight from Johnston on the Palin family and his Vanity Fair article, which was "retaliation."

Though Levi Johnston's svengali Tank Jones told us last week that he was "90% sure" Levi would bare all for Playgirl, he has officially removed that pesky 10% uncertainty. Levi will be going, um, whole hog for his upcoming shoot.

The contract is signed, ladies and gentleman, this thing is really going to happen. No one is disclosing cash figures yet, but it's more than the $25,000 he was originally offered. And there might be wang!

Last we heard, both Levi Johnston's people and Playgirl were still haggling on terms. Now everything is settled and the online magazine has sent off the contract and is waiting for signatures. Status updated!

We're no closer to knowing just how naked Levi Johnston will be in Playgirl than we were yesterday, but both sides are getting closer to finalizing the details and signing a contract. The shoot should take place in early November.

We first told you Levi Johnston is going to pose for Playgirl, we just don't know how much he'll show. So we're unveiling our Levi's Johnston Watch to follow this important matter very closely. Today's reading: nothing more than undies.