For too long, gay experience was defined by outsiders who tended to condemn rather than empathize. As reporting has become democratized and stigma has eroded, more and more people who actually live the experience—the real experts—have been able to share it. The new documentary directed by BET’s Clay Cane Holler If You Hear Me: Black and Gay in the Church facilitates that sort of modern sharing in interviews with several black LGBT people who have vast experience with having their identities shaped, tested, and sometimes flat-out rejected by their churches. It dismisses the notion that being gay and Christian is paradoxical and it helps explain why it’s hard for even those who feel maligned by the church have a hard time leaving it. You can watch it in its entirety here: