This morning a tipster forwarded us an email from a future bride laying out some ground rules for her prospective bridesmaids.

The important thing to remember about out-of-office replies is that no one is ever happy to receive them. An out-of-office reply is your way of saying, to anyone who emails with a request, "You're out of luck, motherfucker – I'M GONE." Use them to list the dates you'll be gone and the name of an alternate contact person. Do not use them to trick people into reading all about your exciting life.

If you are a human being with a television and a heart, you have seen a commercial advertising Google Chrome and you have cried over it.

A man we'll call Robert has a profile on the employment website Monster.com, and earlier today he received a message from a recruiter about a job in "beautiful Northwest Arkansas."

We were forwarded this rejection email, apparently sent to more than 900 hopeful applicants in one bulk delivery, by a reader who shall remain anonymous. (The person is, after all, still looking for a job).

It's probably not a good idea to have the person who regulary gives you massages be the same person who also performs liposuction on you when the need arises. Thank you. [NYT]

This week the Daily News' Clem Richardson penned testimony to the gorgeous mosaic that is our city. Clem used to be a poor tipper to the delivery guys who brought him his Chinese food, but a call from the restaurant's owner helped him learn a valuable lesson. It's got so many of the great New York stereotypes: the black guy who skimps on gratuities, the comically-accented Asian restaurateur who refuses to pay his workers a decent wage, the surly deliverymen who will make a brother walk down the stairs if he doesn't treat them right.... The only thing missing is the Jewish guy who makes his money off the toil of others. Oh, wait, that's the paper's publisher! Anyway, a valuable lesson is learned and everyone discovers how to get along. Yay New York!