Makeup artist Samantha Ravndahl took to Reddit's "Makeup Addiction" subforum earlier today to ask a "slightly unrelated" question: What do I do if Lil' Kim stole one of my photos to use as art for her latest album?

[Lil' Kim ladles Nutella at L.A. slurp shack Millions of Milkshakes, where she concocted a custom shake for her 34th birthday. Image via Pacific Coast News.]

Pattinson says Zefron takes his breath away; Mike Tyson goes to jail for beating up a pap; Carrie Prejean's ex says she's lying about the sex tape, then sells some pictures to TMZ. Welcome to Thursday's gossip!

Adrian Grenier turns 33 today. Jessica Simpson is turning 29. City comptroller (and mayoral wannabe) William Thompson is turning 56. Former mayor David Dinkins is turning 82. Times film critic A.O. Scott is 43. Showtime chief Matt Blank is turning 59. Author and marketing guru Seth Godin is 49. Writer Alice Munro is 78. Actress Sofia Vergara is 37. Eunice Kennedy Shriver is turning 88. The Office's Phyllis Smith is 58. Socialite Lisa Anastos is 41. Anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan is turning 52. And Neil Tennant of the Pet Shop Boys is 55. Weekend birthdays below!

Jamie Foxx regrets wishing chlamydia on Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears wishes she'd never met that creep from rehab at Subway. But Hulk Hogan doesn't have to regret "totally understand[ing]" OJ Simpson.

• Barneys' owner pumped more cash into the struggling retailer today, which will allow it to pay for its shipments for the rest of the year. And thank goodness for that! [Reuters]
• Rumor has it Madonna will return as the face of Louis Vuitton this fall. [NYM]
• Rocawear's roving pop up shop—a 50-foot-long tractor-trailer filled with zebra-striped furniture—rolled into town today. [Racked]
• Getting married? Bridal dresses at Vera Wang are now 50 percent off. [NYM]

1010 WINS gets punked; repeats hoax that Lil' Kim is running for mayor of Hoboken.

We hate to be the bearers of bad news, but despite what you may have heard earlier on Eyewitness News or 1010 WINS earlier today, Lil' Kim is not interested in becoming the next mayor of Hoboken. It turns out the story was circulated by a man claiming to be the rapper's publicist. Not that she necessarily minded the rumor: She described it as "flattering" in an interview with Extra, which means you may still be able to convince her to take part if you act quickly enough. [NYDN]

• If you've noticed Jennifer Aniston's hair looking even more perfect and shiny lately, it's not your imagination. She reportedly spent $50,000 to have her hairstylist accompany her around the world for the Marley & Me's premieres. [DM, P6]
• Britney Spears kicked off her first tour in five years with a concert in New Orleans last night. The early reviews have not been positive, in case you're wondering. [People, DM, MTV]
• Did Chris Brown and Rihanna secretly tie the knot at Diddy's Miami manse? That's what Star is claiming, since Rihanna is "looking for the husband-and-two-kids deal before she turns 25." [Star]
• Breaking! Oprah has adopted a new puppy! [Us]
• Jennifer Lopez borrowed $50,000 worth of jewelry to attend an event last week, but never gave it back. [P6]

When it comes to altering one's appearance, Photoshop has picked up where Denise Richards and Lil' Kim left off. Presenting: the heavily-altered publicity photos for the newest season of Dancing with the Stars.

• Fameball and celebrity spawn Peaches Geldof, 19, was shocked to learn her secret wedding to musician Chester French, 24, may not, in fact, "last forever." In fact it may not last 100 days, pending the results of yet another secret getaway. [Sun]

♦ Michael Phelps is telling people he's single even though he's actually dating Miss California runner-up Nicole Johnson. [R&M]
♦ Peter Cook's interview with Barbara Walters airs on Friday, but Christie Brinkley's lawyers now say he violated a confidentiality agreement by speaking with the network. [OK!, ABC News]
♦ Hugh Hefner says his relationship with Holly Madison began to crumble six months ago when they found out his sperm count was too low to father any kids. Also, he's already auditioning new girlfriends. [E!]
♦ Anna Wintour's latest celebrity obsession? Gerard Butler. [P6]

Biggie Smalls was one of the greatest rappers of our generation. Way nicer lyrically than the more iconic Tupac, his fellow murdered MC. Another point in favor of Biggie: he had a crazier wife. That would be Faith Evans, the Bad Boy R&B singer who is most famous for-let's be honest-being Biggie's wife. Now Faith has written an autobiographical book, and although I'm sure there's lots in there about empowerment, mourning, etc., check out this part where she sneaks into Biggie's house, pulls Lil Kim out of his bed, and beats her ass!:

More trouble for Lil' Kim: The plasticized, pint-sized rapper—seen here at her 33rd birthday party last Sunday drinking some sort of blue substance out of a vial while clutching a glass of champagne in her other hand—now has the distinction of having had one of her guests end up dead. Police are still trying to put together what exactly happened to Ingrid Rivera, who was found bludgeoned to death on the club's rooftop. But we're assuming Kim will tell the whole truth if she's brought in for questioning, since she's already been arrested for perjury once.

Last week, Simon & Schuster filed suit against both Lil' Kim and Foxy Brown for failing to turn in the books they had been contracted to write. You can peruse both lawsuits against Kimberly Jones and Inga Marchand after the jump.

Simon & Schuster suing Foxy Brown and Lil' Kim for undelivered manuscripts on the same day? What does it mean? [NY Observer]

Female rapper Lil Kim and female rapper #2 Foxy Brown are both being sued for the same reason: being procrastinating authors. Ha, [we're-all-in-same-boat joke]! Simon & Schuster has filed suit against both of them for taking their advances ($40K and $75K, respectively) and then not writing a damn word. Ha, if only [Keith Gessen joke]! And they have no excuse for not doing it-they were both in jail! Ha, [OJ-confessional-book joke]! I'm sure you'll all grieve for the lost opportunity to read Lil Kim's prospective book, which was titled "Untitled Novel." Ha, how come these things never happen to [blogger-turned-author joke]? [NYS]

• Diddy and Cassie are secretly engaged? That's what the highly credible Star says. The rap mogul apparently told friends during son Justin's graduation from Horace Mann last month. [Star]

The angelic, all-natural rapper Lil' Kim turns 33 today. Pulitzer Prize-winning author Jhumpa Lahiri is 41. Gossip Girl's Connor Paolo, aka Eric van der Woodsen, is 18. Reviled union chief Roger Toussaint is 52. Literary critic Harold Bloom is 78. Interior designer John Barman is 59. And former deputy mayor—and now Bloomberg LP president—Dan Doctoroff will be 50 today.

Nigeria is a country afflicted with rampant corruption, looting of the government treasury, oil piracy, illiteracy, grinding rural poverty, and a dire lack of clean water. But media mogul and public servant Nduka Obaigbena is committed to fixing all that and making Nigeria a model of good government. His unique prescription for social change: parties with Naomi Campbell, bespoke suits, and a penthouse at the Ritz Carlton: