Due to a firey Jitney accident on the Long Island Expressway last night, we were not able to watch The City last night. Thankfully we've pieced together the action thanks to some dispatches from our favorite freelance party reporter.

Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson, Quentin Tarantino talks retirement, Larry King's wife eyes a Broadway role, Renee Zellweger can't get laid, Megan Fox has to get drunk to watch her movies and Lindsay Lohan's hair is falling out.

• A peek inside Avenue, the new "gastrolounge" by Noah Tepperberg. [GS]
• Brooklyn is not getting a Shake Shack for the time being, alas. [Gothamist]
• Nightlife impresario Mike Satsky on Lily Pond: "My waitresses are hands-down the most beautiful waitress staff in the Hamptons." [NYO]
• Terrance Brennan's Bar Artisanal is now serving lunch. [TONY]
• Tim Zagat lists his favorite restaurants in NYC. [Urbanite]
• The husband and wife behind Sfoglia open Civetta in Nolita next week. [NYM]
• Park Avenue Spring is now Park Avenue Summer. [GS]
• End times! Wine consumption in France was down 10% last year. [AP]