U.S. Park Police today closed the Lincoln Memorial until further notice after vandals splattered green paint all over the statue and the floor.

Like many of us, President Obama woke up on Saturday morning not completely sure of what had happened the night before—had he averted a government shutdown? "There's only one way to make sure," Ax told him over the phone. "You have to go to the Lincoln Memorial and see if it's open."

Tomorrow, Glenn Beck intends to save this nation from communists and other ne'er-do-wells at his "Restoring Honor" rally, live from Washington D.C. Will you be there? Because we will! Oh, yes! In the meantime, here's what to expect.

[The preparations for Glenn Beck's "Restoring Honor" rally at the Lincoln Memorial this weekend brought a young man to tears today in Washington. We're right there with you, kiddo. Image via Getty]

Sarah Palin will speak at Glenn Beck's "Restoring Honor Rally" at the Lincoln Memorial, on the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "Dream" speech. A press release claims that there "will be absolutely no politics involved," but come on.