There are certain things Joe Scarborough—a man no one is interested in voting for for anything besides leaving the island—won’t tolerate. Allowing Megyn Kelly to take over his beloved Fox News network is one of them, and trust the man: He will literally—LITERALLY—self-immolate before allowing her to set the agenda.

New from Kristin Cavallari’s mid-priced jewelry line, Emerald Duv: something lit rally on fire.

She can't, but she must, or she'll literally be dying. This tragic tale of the Beyoncé-inspired nationwide outbreak of inability to can is everything.

Coachella has been known to take its toll on attendees, and even offspring of the rich and famous aren't immune. Arnold Schwarzenegger's hunky son Patrick reports that he is "literally so dead" after the music festival this past weekend.

Sparkly vampire Robert Pattinson's big orgy debut angers his non-sparkly girlfriend! Lindsay Lohan is out on the town, partying again. A-Rod dumped his new girlfriend. The Bachelor people got married! Oprah has secrets. Presenting my final Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Hey, here's a magazine cover featuring Transformers actress Megan Fox. It appears to be some sort of animal rights publication, and Ms. Fox seems to have been the model of choice because a) her last name is also the name of an animal and b) no one famous would do it. So, look. She's holding a fox. And her last name is Fox. Though, I don't know why I'm even bothering to show this to you guys. We all subscribe to Christopher Ameruoso presents Paw Print magazine, right? [via Hollywood Tuna. I know.]