Machine-like purveyor of conventional media wisdom Howard Kurtz takes on the DC press corps' most important question today: Hey, is Politico's Mike Allen really Washington's Most Important Journalist? Or might that Most Important Journalist be [my name]?

In an article about Jenna Bush in Texas Monthly, the presidential daughter guesses what her parents are doing that particular "mild July evening." "[Dad is] riding his bike around the White House lawn. He's a maniac on that bike." Her mom is "probably in the sitting room on the second floor, reading. We got the new TEXAS MONTHLY, by the way." Reporter Skip Hollandsworth then spies on Jenna at a playground. "I sit in my car across the street, unseen, and watch her for a few minutes. She smiles at her kids as they run back and forth, then starts laughing at something one of them says to her. Finally I hear her shout, 'Come on, guys! Recess is over!'"

Dude, check out this chick! Pretty hot, right? Well, guess what? You're a fucking pervert! This is 12-year-old Maddison Gabriel, an Australian model who has caused something of a controversy in her native country after being chosen as the official ambassador of Gold Coast Fashion Week in Australia. Britain's Daily Mail and John Howard, the Prime Minister of Convict Island, are fulminating, but young Maddison (uh, WTF Australia?) is unbowed. "I believe that I can fit into women's clothes. I can model women's clothes, so I should be able to do it," she says. And who are we to disagree? We just hope she's shaved down under. Or, you know, hasn't started growing hair there yet.

"When a girl removes hair for the first time, it's a life-changing moment," said Stacey Feldman, vice president for marketing at the women's health and personal care division of the Church & Dwight Company, which purchased Nair in 2001.