When the new ABC sci-fi series "V" premiered last Monday, everyone wondered if its titular Visitors were an allegorical critique of the Obama administration. Tonight's episode proved without a doubt that the creators of "V" hate Barack Obama.

ABC's new sci-fi series V kicks off tonight. It concerns a charismatic leader who comes out of nowhere promising a bright future and a better life for all Americans. Is that leader Barack Obama or is it a space lizard?

According to Balloon boy dad Richard Heene, Hillary Clinton is a shape-shifting reptilian humanoid. You may be surprised to learn that he is not the only one who believes this!

Opponent Norm Coleman is already promising a challenge, but as of Monday famed senator-impersonator Al Franken will be an official senate-election winner, per a Minnesota election board.

The Minnesota Senate race recount will never, ever end, and everyone in that cold and desolate state has obviously proven to be a complete buffoon. Let's meet one of those buffoons now!

Minnesota's famed "Lizard People" ballot, which brought hope and cheer to the deadened hearts of the state's recount-plagued voters, has been disqualified on the grounds of being too awesome.

This is stupid. Caroline Kennedy waited until public opinion turned completely against the idea to actively pursue Hillary Clinton's Senate seat.

Alan Colmes, television's most beloved representative of the liberal Lizard People, has finally decided to leave the Hannity and Ineffectual Lizard Person show behind. Colmes will abandon his longtime partner Sean Hannity, who probably won't notice that he's just bullying a mop in a suit now, and develop his own weekend show. Maybe on the weekend show he'll invite a rotating series of louder, more charismatic alpha conservatives to shout him down or ignore him outright? Otherwise it'll just be an hour of Colmes trying to get a word in edgewise against dead air. Beckettian, really. [TVNewser]