Authorities in London say a man with a knife attacked several people in Russell Square Wednesday night, leaving at least one women dead and up to five other people injured. According to police, the incident is being investigated as a potential terror attack, among other possibilities.

After giving a speech in which he touted his accomplishments as mayor of London, responded to criticisms of the “Leave” vote, and outlined the problems facing the next British prime minister, Boris Johnson announced that he would not be running for the position.

London is telling subway riders not to walk up the escalator because they say it moves more total people per hour that way—despite conclusive proof that people who stand on escalators don’t care about being late and should get the fuck out of our way because some of us have places to be. Sad.

London elected its new mayor, Sadiq Khan, on Friday, making him the first Muslim person to hold the position in the city—or that of any major western capital, for that matter.

A husband and wife who prosecutors alleged were interested in supporting the Islamic State have been found guilty of preparing an act of terrorism, the Guardian reports. Mohammed Rehman, 25, intended to detonate a suicide bomb either at a shopping center in London or on the Underground.

A London Uber customer says that after she canceled a ride over the weekend, the irate driver left her a minute-long angry voicemail message threatening to cut her neck.

J.K. Rowling announced Friday that “not a prequel” to her quadrillion-selling Harry Potter septology is headed for London’s Palace Theatre in summer 2016. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child will cover the “untold part” of Harry’s story, including the lives of his dead mom and dad. (Again, “not a prequel.”)

Friends say they’re “worried” about a 23-year-old British banker who started openly snorting cocaine on the Tube this month. Worrying behavior to be sure, but at least he was kind enough to offer his fellow commuters what he dropped on the floor, which is honestly more than I can say for most drug-addled New Yorkers.

According to the Sunday Mirror, Chester Hanks, the slightly-less-beloved son of beloved actor Tom Hanks, is wanted by police in Britain after losing his shit and causing more than $1800 in damage to a hotel room near Gatwick Airport, 28 miles south of London.

The three London students believed to have run away from home last week to join ISIS crossed into Syria "four or five days ago," police say. Shamima Begum and Amira Abase, both 15, and Kadiza Sultana, 16, are allegedly following the lead of their friend who took off last December for the Islamic State.

Rushing to a job interview via the London tube last Monday morning, a man found his way temporarily blocked by another commuter, so he pushed past the fellow and told him to go fuck himself. Unfortunately, that other man was Matt Buckland, the recruiter who was supposed to interview him for a software development position. Awkwaaard.

London police fear that three "straight-A" students may have hopped a flight to Istanbul with plans to cross into Syria and join ISIS. Shamima Begum, 15, Kadiza Sultana, 16, and a third girl whose name has not been released, also 15, reportedly took off Tuesday.

Life is no fun without a bit of mystery. James Patterson knows it; Jeffrey Lieber, J.J. Abrams, and Damon Lindelof know it; and we can certainly assume Georgia Governor Nathan Deal—an aged man—knows it, too. Perhaps this is why he has disappeared.

A devilish London mystery, just in time for the holidays.

Huge delays are expected after a computer problem at an air-traffic control center in southern England shutdown airports throughout the UK. London's Heathrow airport, the busiest in Europe, is closed until at least 2 p.m. EST. Gatwick, Luton, and Stansted airports are also shutdown.

A passenger jet landing at London's Heathrow airport had an extremely dangerous near-miss with a drone, investigators say.

The latest battlefront in Russell Brand's Revolution™ is the New Era housing estate, a choice piece of London property currently occupied by 93 families. The estate's new owner, U.S. firm Westbrook, intends to evict them so it can fetch "fair market rates"—an insane $3,000 a month—for the apartments. Brand has made himself the face of the tenants.

The one-roomed, "smallest house in the world" has gone on sale in London and can be yours for the itty bitty price of, uh, $450,000.

CNN reports that dockworkers at Tilbury Docks, a major London port, discovered 35 adults and children in a shipping container this morning. One man was pronounced dead at the scene.

The heads of the New Zealand and Australian Defense Staffs salute after laying wreaths beside the Australian War Memorial during a dawn service to mark Anzac Day in London on Friday. Anzac Day honors the men of the Australia-New Zealand Army Corps who died in the World War I battle for Gallipoli, Turkey. Image via Matt Dunham/AP.