With the return of Dallas and tomorrow's release of Rock of Ages, it's a so-bad-it's-at-least-worth-enduring kinda week. So apropos only of that, here's a hilariously awful song from I-can't-believe-it-is-Fabio's 1993 album After Dark. Over an 808-based Skinemaximal sound that makes Paula Abdul's "Rush Rush" sound like real hood shit, Fabio mumbles, "It's strange how I feel! Everything seems so unreal." I empathize. The hook goes, "When somebody loves somebody desperately, everything comes out so natural." Affection: the greatest laxative of all.