All of Herman Cain's conservative buddies are ditching him now, after word came out that he was allegedly sexing up a non-wife gal for 13 years. No longer is this a "high tech lynching" in their minds. Why are they ditching this true conservative? Where's the support during tough times? For that, we must turn our attention to the most fascinating place on earth: The Arizona state Senate.

We've been paying close attention over the last few years to the descent of Arizona from booming, comfortable retiree chain-store colony to foreclosed stucco race-warring hellscape, a bitterly dystopian prank from God where the only laws that exist are ones that Steven Seagal can enforce from a tank for his dumb reality TV show. It turns out that our efforts were all a waste of time! Instead, we just could've read this single story about State Sen. Lori Klein, who embodies everything we've come to love about the Death State.