How can “Big Business” improve its reputation? One former Republican lawmaker “says business needs to do a better job of making clear that its priorities—freer trade, less regulation, etc.—will benefit the public.” Good luck motherfucker.

"I beg you, stop. I ask you with all my heart," Pope Francis beseeched humanity about its incessant strife today, the 100th anniversary of the beginning of the First World War. "Everything is lost with war, nothing is lost with peace." And Israel and Gaza and Russia and Ukraine were all "Ehhhhh FUCK that guy."

It was clear many years ago that drugs have won the drug war. But what about the anti-drug commercials, those great cultural icons of our youth? Turns out that the smart money just gave up on that shit.

You would think that the AP would be satisfied with its status as "last remaining source of non-local 'news' for 95% of American newspapers." But no! Now they want to be kings of the internet, and whatnot, as well.

"It's a first for mass transit in the United States. NYPD officers, armed with rifles, submachine guns, body armor and bomb-sniffing dogs will begin patrolling the city's subway system thanks to a 50 percent increase in a homeland security grant." Well, good thing we're putting that to good use! Turning an already problematic police force into a paramilitary organization? What could go wrong! If there's any of that grant money left we should use it to create androids that subdue anyone attempting to dance at a non-licensed bar. With a force as restrained and well-trained and not-roided out of their power-corrupted minds as the NYPD armed to the fucking teeth, what could go wrong? Should we be grateful it's just a ceremonial show of force, like those speeding cop car motorcades that wailed through midtown after the bicycle bombing? Or should we be worried!