After his chat tonight with Bill O'Reilly, Christopher Hitchens asked for a second date: "We've barely got our trousers off," he said. The hawkish former Trotskyite had certainly pushed O'Reilly's buttons.

Hi young Gawker girls. Do you show up in New York City every spring, hang around by the Cube looking for handouts and pretending you're homeless? If so, a gross old guy would like to party with you, princess! The lovelorn Craigslist user is seeking "alternative/punk girl who has been in kmart in astor place?? I see you sexy alternative style girls in there when I go into to get my plant stuff. Interested in an older generous guy to pamper and adore you? Please reply. I am cute!" He's into plants and he's not averse to treating you like a whore! Go meet your man right here.

Your search is over, ladies: "Mr. Right Iz Here Waitin on U." On Craigslist! His straightforward message: "Listen If U Really Wanna Get 2 Know Me Just Send Me A Note." Simple, honest, persuasive... and right. And he included a total of 30 pictures with his one-sentence pitch. Including a few unrelated wedding pictures that don't even appear to have him in it. But this handful should be enough to give you the essence of what your new man is all about: