Yoga apparel purveyor Lululemon has recalled more than 300,000 elastic drawstrings in its hoodies and jackets after the strings kept snapping back and flinging their plastic or metal tips into women’s faces. Women walking around in death traps and they don’t even know it! There have been seven reported victims of the hoodie attacks so far. Lululemon assures the public their injuries were “not serious” (but maybe stop wearing these totally safe and comfy hoodies anyway).

For centuries, it has been taken for granted that America's greatest resource, black yoga pants, would exist in shameless abundance forever.

Do you ever get the feeling that yoga apparel/lifestyle store Lululemon is a little... creepy?