• "Real Housewife" Jill Zarin has put her three-bedroom apartment 401 East 60th Street on the market. The 1,956-square-foot condo—which Zarin tackily gussied up last season—is listed with Prudential Douglas Elliman's Callae Brownstein and Howard Margolis for $3.2 million. [NYP, PDE]
• Dorris Carr Bonfigli, the Upper East Side hostess and Bernie Madoff victim, has dropped the price of her penthouse apartment at 930 Fifth for the second time since listing it for $11.3 million last December. The elaborately-designed spread is now priced at $9.8 million. [Cityfile, Corcoran]

Twilight's Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are pregnant, Angelina Jolie and David Beckham are starring in an Armani ad together, Britney's sporting a new "spare tire," Michael Bay made Megan Fox wash his Ferrari and Joyce DeWitt got a DUI.

Michael Jackson was supposed to perform a series of concerts at 02 arena; speculation has been that the preparation may or may not have been what killed him. Madonna performed there last night, and threw down for Jackson in tribute.

• It turns out Madonna scored a rather sweet deal on the East 81st Street townhouse she went into contract to purchase in April. The Material Girl paid $32.5 million for the 13-bedroom manse, which is about 28 percent less than the $45 million asking price that the house was listed for back in October. [NYT, previously]
• After nearly a year on the market—and three price cuts—writer/director John Ridley has finally found a buyer for his condo at 15 Central Park West. The 2,237-square-foot apartment had been listed most recently for $8.5 million. [Cityfile, Corcoran]

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo bite the dust, Jon Gosselin's new girlfriend will be on the next season of J&K+8, Lindsay Lohan tries to pick up Justin Timberlake in a club and Megan Fox almost burns down a Louisiana town.

• It looks the end of the line for Fox News anchor Kimberly Guilfoyle and husband Eric Villency, the heir to a furniture store chain founded by his grandfather and occasional TV presence. It's Guilfoyle's second high-profile break-up. Her first husband was San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom. [P6]
• Sean Avery and model Hilary Rhoda were spotted "getting cozy" the other night. [P6]
• Ed McMahon, Johnny Carson's sidekick on The Tonight Show for more than three decades, has died at 86. [NYT, People]

Megan Fox cites confusion in explaining away the infamous flower incident, Ryan Seacrest is developing a Lindsay Lohan reality show, Kate Moss is an absolute pain in the arse girlfriend, and Katie Lee Joel's new man is shagging fashion editors.

• Rihanna is expected to speak about her alleged beating by Chris Brown for the first time this afternoon when she takes the witness stand at a preliminary hearing in Los Angeles. [NYDN, NYP]
• Both Katie Lee Joel and her rumored paramour, designer Yigal Azrouel, continue to deny reports that an affair ended Lee's marriage to Billy Joel. But Azrouel seems to have a rep for being something of a ladies man: He's "been known to sleep with fashion editors who can help his career." [P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker was pulled over in the Hamptons. The trooper told her that her lights were off; she turned them on; and all ended well. Yay. [P6]

Elle is letting LiLo off the hook over the jewels everyone seems convinced that she stole, two cops try to blackmail Sarah Jessica Parker/Matthew Broderick, Mariah Carey will star in a London play and Justin Timberlake loves tequila shots.

• This is a bizarre one: Two police chiefs in Ohio are now under investigation for allegedly breaking into the home of the surrogate mom hired by Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick in an effort to dig up dirt on the woman, which they then planned to sell to the tabloids or use to blackmail the couple. [Us, E!, NYDN]
• Madonna is gearing up for the arrival of baby Mercy. Gwynnie is helping to decorate and Mercy's room will supposedly feature "porcelain dolls, antique teddy bears, a library of leather-bound children's books and ancient maps of Africa to adorn the walls." [Sun]
• It looks like Lindsay Lohan is off the hook for that $400,000 jewel heist the other day. So at least there's one thing looking up for her. [NYDN]

Megan Fox affirms that she's single and looking, Sienna Miller claims to have never been on a date or had a one-night stand, Susan Boyle is suffering from exhaustion, and Jon and Kate celebrate their anniversary apart.

• The father of Mercy James, the girl being adopted by Madonna, says he has no plans to object to the adoption, and a nanny and nurse have already touched down in Malawi to take care of her. So it looks like the little girl will be climbing aboard Madonna's jet to head to NYC any day now. [Reuters, DM, Sun]
• David Carradine's funeral took place in LA on Saturday and more than 400 mourners turned up for the occasion, including Lucy Liu, Michael Madsen, Jane Seymour, Tom Selleck, Daryl Hannah, Lucy Liu, Edward James Olmos, and Rob Schneider. [Us, AP, People]
• Jeff Goldblum, who is 56, and his new girlfriend, 21-year-old Lost actress Tania Raymonde, "can't keep their hands to themselves," which may explain why they've been seen "making out all over town." [AMNY]

Chris Brown and Rihanna attend Game 4 of the NBA Finals, Paris Hilton has a raunchy rebound hookup with soccer star Ronaldo, Paul Shaffer almost played George Costanza on Seinfeld, Megan Fox has genetically-deformed thumbs and Madonna adopts another African.

• Paris Hilton reportedly broke up with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt after she saw him partying with a "Texas beauty queen" named Kendhal Beal. The heiress responded by throwing a fit (and some fruit and ice in Beal's direction). But don't you worry about Paris. She's got her dependable sister by her side. And she's already moved on to someone new, namely soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo. [P6, People]
• Madonna will be performing her Kabbalah rituals today with an extra bit of enthusiasm: Malawi's highest court has overturned its previous ruling and has granted her adoption of Mercy James. Justice to the people! [DM]
• Dr. Drew Pinsky of Celebrity Rehab is offering Lindsay Lohan six figures to appear on his VH1 reality show. But only because he cares deeply about her well-being, not because he's interested in ratings or anything. [NYP]

Credit where credit is due: Tracy Anderson, exercise guru and personal trainer to Gwyneth and Madonna, knows how to fake it till you make it. Indianapolis Monthly has a very detailed story about Anderson's rather sketchy habit of failing to pay her rent, business partners and sewage bills, even while she, herself, was staying at $1,500-a-night hotels. Long before she was famous or successful, Anderson misrepresented herself as a former Pink Power Ranger (really) and "hired a celebrity photographer for promotional photos, drove a luxury SUV through a neighborhood where her husband was thousands of dollars behind on homeowners-association dues, signed leases for businesses but didn't pay the rent, and lived in a meticulously maintained Noblesville subdivision but didn't pay the sewer bill."

• The British paparazzi have seen it all over the years, but even they were surprised by a shopping expedition by Beyoncé in London last week. The singer required two chauffeur-driven cars/limos and a small army of bodyguards to escort her to the store. Even though it happened to be located about 15 yards from the front door to her hotel. [Telegraph]
• On-again, off-again couple Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Refaeli appear to be in "off" mode, according to People. But Us says Bar and Leo are still together and even have photos of the couple shopping yesterday to prove it. Say a little prayer and hope for the best, won't you? [People, Us]
• There doesn't seem much doubt about the status of Kanye West's relationship with model Amber Rose. West's rep has confirmed that it's over. [P6]

• The feud between Stephanie Seymour and Peter Brant has gone from bad to worse. After tussling with Brant's bodyguards last week, Seymour was issued a summons on Saturday after she "yanked the keys out of a Brant-hired security guard's car, threw them in the bushes, and then used her Range Rover to block the driveway of the couple's Greenwich estate." Just imagine what's going to happen when the two actually face one another in court. [NYP]
• Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson appear to have reunited. Enjoy it while it lasts! If history is any guide, by this time next week, the couple will have had another messy brawl, LiLo will be melting down on Twitter, and Sam will be running off to another foreign country to get away from her. [Sun, People]
• Madonna has managed to "convinced" three appeal judges in Malawi to let her appeal baby Mercy, or so says the Telegraph of London. [Telegraph]

• Madonna's backup dancers haven't been making friends at the Bryant Park Hotel. Reports a staffer: "They are presumptuous and cheap. Nearly every one of them have stiffed their bellman and servers, and what's worse is they have tons of stuff." [P6]
• The situations continues to deteriorate for Lindsay Lohan: She's rumored to be pawning jewelry to pay the bills. [Star via Popcrunch]
• Britney intends to "drop by Buckingham Palace" and say hi to the Queen when she's in London, which is awfully generous of her, isn't it? [Mirror]
• The circumstances surrounding David Carradine's death are still a little murky. Suicide? Sex-related accidental death? The investigation is still underway. [People, Us, TMZ]

• Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou had a baby boy over the weekend. [Us]
• Susan Boyle checked into a clinic on Saturday after suffering a "mental breakdown" following her loss on Britain's Got Talent. [NYDN, NYP]
• Kate Hudson successfully avoided Madonna at Saturday's polo match, which is a good thing since an encounter could have led to a "girl-on-girl showdown." [NYDN]
• Bill and Hillary are househunting, apparently. Per a friend: "There are some really massive estates that are incredibly cheap. Plus, it's a fun way to spend a weekend." [NYDN]
• As for Barack and Michelle, they spent Saturday in NYC, eating at Blue Hill before attending a performance of Joe Turner's Come and Gone. [NYDN, NYT]
• Eminem stormed out of the MTV Movie Awards after Sasha Baron Cohen landed in his lap, either because he was offended or because it was part of a pre-planned stunt. [P6, NYDN]
• Billy Bob Thornton's daughter has been arrested for child neglect. [People]
• Rumor has it Jennifer Hudson is pregnant. [People]

Spencer and Heidi implode on the set of I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, Madonna and Kate Hudson kinda almost get into a catfight, Billy Bob Thornton's daughter is charged in an infant's death, and Lori Petty spent the weekend in the slammer after getting arrested for DUI.