Jimmy Kimmel has invented a new man-on-the-street game in the same vein as his usual Lie Witness News schtick: Instead of having people comment on news that didn't actually happen, he just asks them not to say anything at all. It's called "Don't Talk Into This Mic and Win $10."

Adults interrogating children about Big Person Issues on camera is a completely original concept that was definitely invented by the Internet. But since it's been a gnarly Friday afternoon, let's cleanse our eyeballs with this short clip of kids talking about the 2012 presidential election at a Brooklyn block party. You will learn that the White House is located . . . at the beach! You vote by . . . getting some cardboard! The one character all the children of the world would unanimously vote for . . . is Spongebob!

Despite being biggest thing since Jesus turned the Red Sea into loaves of fish, no one in New York knows much about the Oscars. And they won't fuck Brad Pitt. That's what a shrieking comedian found on the streets, anyway.

An exclusive citizen's report from the main drag of Hipster Brooklyn - Bedford Avenue - gives us photographic evidence of a twee takeover of NYC's most gentrified 'hood earlier today: Sesame Street was filming in Williamsburg.

The New York Times is quite concerned about this economy and this "bailout" that is probably going to pass the Senate today in the most complicated form so far presented to the American People. They note, today, that its fate as political poison was probably set when it was labeled a "bailout" from the beginning. But just maybe, institutionally, as the voice of the moderate liberal establishment, the Times needs this bailout to work! So they spend a great deal of time trying to explain it, and they also seek to explain the effect of the bailout and The Crisis on You, the Little Guy on Main Street. And every other street! Join us, won't you, as we tag along on the Times Bailout Tour '08. First: it's not a bailout!

What the hell is that skywriting going on right now? Um, near as people can tell from 23rd Street, it seems to be about the U.N. We can't tell at all from SoHo. Is it about the black helicopters that run up the East River on behalf of the secret Jewish world government? Because we hear that's true.