So that Saved by the Bell reunion Jimmy Fallon tried to put together four years ago ultimately fell apart, but here's the next best thing.

You always knew deep down that one day you would be best friends with the cast of Happy Endings. You were positive. Well guess what, you can't and you won't be friends with them because they already know they don't like you.

Biting the hand that made him, actor Mark-Paul Gosselaar — still best known as scampy preppy Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell — recently made some less than flattering remarks about the much-loved late-80's, early-90's sitcom.

There is a simple formula to determine how successful the stars of hit television shows go on to become: how long it takes before the reunion special. Seinfeld held out for 11 years, how long did everyone else last?

Victoria Beckham is rumored to be replacing Paula Abdul on Idol, Brad Pitt was once a stoner, K-Fed is getting paid to lose weight, Jude Law's new lady friend was a Hooters waitress in Florida and Kristin Davis spurns OXFAM.

• The "designer dog house" that Paris Hilton had built recently—which is equipped with chandeliers and air-conditioning—cost her $325K, or considerably more than what most Americans spends on human homes. [Luxist]
• Rosie O'Donnell and her partner Kelli Carpenter-O'Donnell are not splitting up, you'll undoubtedly be relieved to hear. [People]
• Kristin Davis of Sex and the City fame has found herself caught up in a dispute over Middle Eastern politics. You didn't expect to hear that, did you? [P6]
• Did MSNBC's Keith Olbermann use some pull to snag his girlfriend a job working as a reporter for WNBC? It wouldn't be the first time! [P6]

Leo the Great dumped Bar Refaeli, Britney Spears is banging her agent at William Morris, Miley Cyrus dumped her boyfriend and is after Nick Jonas, Lauren Conrad's new novel will be horrendous, and David Carradine bought lots of sex toys.

Chace Crawford has a new swimsuit model love interest, Susan Boyle freaks out in a fit of rage on strangers and cops in London, Jon and Kate are manipulating their kids, Rihanna will get virtually naked in a new Kanye video, and Anna Wintour wants to be ambassador to Britain.

Chelsea Clinton is celebrating her 29th birthday today. Elizabeth Taylor is turning 77. Josh Groban is 28. Ralph Nader is 75. Joanne Woodward, the Oscar-winning actress and widow of Paul Newman, turns 79. Actor Noah Emmerich is turning 44. Lynyrd Skynyrd's Johnny Van Zant is 50. Rozonda Thomas (or Chilli) from TLC is 38. And the head of the 92nd St. Y, Sol Adler, turns 55. Weekend birthdays—including Olivia Palermo's big day—after the jump.

Click to viewBoomp3.com A reunion of TV teen icons took place at the conclusion of the star-filled Nautica Malibu Triathlon when Saved by The Bell stars Tiffani Thiessen (AKA Kelly Kapowski) ran into Mark-Paul Gosselaar (AKA Zack Morris). As the two caught up on all of each other's exploits, it quickly became apparent that the two looked as if they were transported right back to those magical days at The Max. That is, until Thiessen turned the conversation towards the potential of a Saved By The Bell spin-off. Gosselaar seemed unsure about the idea of a spin off, considering the misfires that were Saved By The Bell: The College Years and Saved By The Bell: The New Class. Thiessen was unrelenting, though, going as far as to use the recent 90210 spin-off as an example of an old show that got a big boost by incorporating some of today's cooler and edgier positions on teen life. Thiessen said, “It would be so much fun. Just imagine the theoretical child of Zack and Kelly raising heck all over Bayside. Meanwhile, Zack would be raising heck in the corporate world or maybe real estate and Kelly is running for vice president or something.” [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

TMZ has a lovely photo album today of famous people who got fat. Mark-Paul Gosselaar luckily escaped notice for that awkward season of Saved By the Bell.