Prosecutors in Florida are going after a Lauderhill police officer after he had a female drunken driver punch him in the genitals during a traffic stop.

Easter is the best holiday for sadists, as Catholics worldwide bloody themselves imitating the passion of Christ, just like Mel Gibon's torture porno with that name. It's also rural Filipinos' annual season of infamy, for literally nailing themselves to crosses.

No. Proof inside.

When I said earlier that I'd see you at 11:35, I wasn't kidding! Tonight, Jay Leno returns as host of The Tonight Show, and—admit it—you'll probably watch. Here's your open thread to discuss the action as it happens.