Harvard law professor and consumer advocate Elizabeth Warren will make certain lefties' dreams come true by running for Scott Brown's Senate seat in Massachusetts. Is this the best use of her talent? Will she save America anyway? Eh, maybe.

Beefcake brothers create beef cake cafe! Hotties to hawk hamburgers in Hingham. Mark and Donnie Wahlberg recently secured the trademarked name Wahlburgers, which is what they plan to call their 4300-square-foot restaurant in Boston's Hingham Shipyard, where they already have an Italian restaurant called Alma Nove. Well done. [Boston Herald, Wahlberg brothers at a Lakers game via Splash]

According to data on same-sex couples released by the U.S. Census Bureau, the gayest city in these 50 states is, not surprisingly, Provincetown, Mass., the vacation spot of circuit boys, insane writers, and homosexuals who make a whole lot more money than any of us.

Seven years ago in Massachusetts, Bradford Wells married his long-time partner, Anthony John Makk. They have now been together for 19 years. Sometime this week — by Thursday at the latest — Anthony John Makk will be forcibly removed from the country. He is Australian, and the government has denied him permanent residency. Which it can do, because the federal government doesn't recognize same-sex marriage.

Do people always tell you that you look "just like" someone else they know? Do you live and drive in Massachusetts? If yes and yes, then you might be in danger of losing your driving privileges, just like John H. Gass did.

In an effort to tweak its ethics rules following a spate of corruption, the Massachusetts House is considering among other things a requirement that lobbyists wear ID badges in the statehouse if they're "seeking access to House members or staff." This doesn't seem controversial. Then again, maybe it's the Holocaust?

School's out! And what better way to celebrate than with a dip in the pool? Just make sure there aren't any dead bodies floating in it! For two days!

Three masked men, "armed with knives and a hatchet," attempted to rob a Dunkin Donuts in Hayannis, Mass. on Wednesday, bursting in through the door and demanding that the cashier hand over a paper bag in her purse. A paper bag filled with donuts.

Two towns in Massachusetts are trying to ban Lazy Cakes, a "relaxation brownie," because excesss amount of melatonin in the baked (hehe, get it?) good made some kids sick. This whole thing is really stupid.

Turns out that Bin Laden's guards didn't put up much of a fight—and that those helmet cams didn't work very well. Obama won't release Bin Laden's death pic, so a disappointed nation drowns their bloodlust in fakes. The SEALS that did the deed remain in hiding, and the crazy Bin Laden hunter wants his reward. It's day three of our post-Osama world, with updates.

Senator Scott Brown has requested to do his training as a Massachusetts National Guard Lieutenant Colonel in Afghanistan this year, to help him "better understand our ongoing mission in that country." This guy is such a showoff.

An empty house in Marblehead, Mass. seems to have called 911 on its own after months of enduring a leaky pipe that covered the walls with toxic mold. And you thought that dog that called the police was smart.

Newsweek/Daily Beast celebupundit Andrew Sullivan really, really wants to see Trig Palin's birth certificate, thinks Obama should have released his earlier, and has lots of righteous things to say about how real reporters demand to see documents. Funny thing—we're trying to get documents about you, Andrew! Care to help?

Massachusetts, the liberal hellhole run by a Democratic governor and two Democratic legislative chambers, is the latest, most surprising state to pick a fight with public employees' unions over collective bargaining rights.

The mighty Bay State, home of the fightin' Red Sox and gay divorces, has the smartest, and thus best, kids in the nation. According to standardized test scores at least. And we all know those are always completely reliable!

Massachusetts Sen. Scott Brown's surprising January special election victory made him an instant Tea Party hero and threatened the survival of health care reform. But it passed anyway, and then Brown voted for every other Democratic bill. Will he survive?

It's a weird day in America when Massachusetts could learn a thing or two from Arkansas. But such is the case today. And it all has to do with what kids are allowed to wear at school. Oof.

That was quick. Just hours after covertly-filmed video of a racist woman berating a mailman went viral, she's been identified as Erika Winchester, speech coach and citizen police academy graduate. But did this incident really get the mail carrier fired?

Regarding the other ballot measure you were all wondering about: voters in the 3rd Berkshire District in Pittsfield, Massachusetts rejected a proposal to allow women to walk around topless in public. Their reasoning, though, was odd.

You all can figure out the indiscreet implications of this ad from congressional candidate Sean Bielat, depicting an animated version of his opponent, gay Rep. Barney Frank, as, in TPM's words, a "hip-swerving disco queen." But it's still entertaining.