We once pledged that impending fatherhood would do nothing to tame the mighty, freespirited party-beast that is Hollywood's most sought-after torsobitionist, Matthew McConnaughey. Loath as we are to deliver a pinky-flinging, double-shaka "we told you so" sign—well, we told you so:

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

Dazed & Confused star Matthew McConaughey began rehearsals this past weekend in Malibu for the third installment in the popular action film series. In the latest adventure, McConaughey plays a jogger who wakes up with a bomb strapped to his chest that must maintain a certain speed and remain fully clothed in the process. McConaughey calls the part of Sam Johnston to be his most challenging since he goes against every notion he has a human being. McConaughey said, "Being placed into a situation where if I do something that comes so naturally to me means that I'm going to die, I mean, this is the most personal I'm going to get as an actor."

Only days after rumors surfaced that the on-and-off relationship between Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson had switched back to Off, the Stallion was seen preying on new anonymous blondes in New York City while lovelorn Kate was allegedly recuperating from the split. So naturally, the news that Hudson picked herself back up and found a new paramour in the fit form of one-ball wonder Lance Armstrong is slightly comforting. But after reading the details surrounding the pair’s so-called dates and blooming “romance,” we aren’t biting. The three clues in particular that leave us seated while others jump to conclusions, after the jump.

There’s no shortage of sleazy surprises in the world of baby picture pimping. Today, TMZ reports that soon-to-be-dad Matthew McConaughey and his model girlfriend Camila Alves have hired an actual agent to auction off photos of their upcoming newborn’s visage to the major glossies. And the “brand agent” in question, Todd Shemarya, has quite a record — he’s the man behind Brangelina’s record-setting deal with People, and Christina Aguilera’s far less pricey cover with the same weekly. As disturbed as we are that such a man exists, we’re more saddened to learn that former nude bongo player and hairy beach hippie McConaughey would cash in on his first kid. We're actually starting to miss the hobo doing push-ups outside a trailer we'd grown accustomed to. Then again, the $1MM that he's reportedly been offered by three separate spawn-obsessed mags can buy a lot of t-shirts. [TMZ]

Gosh, Marvel Studios, just take a minute to chew your food, would you? Less than 24 hours after its debut picture Iron Man finished a $100 million opening weekend, studio boss David Maisel was all over town announcing Marvel's forthcoming slate — through 2011. As we noted yesterday, an Iron Man sequel is naturally to follow on April 30, 2010, while an adaptation of Thor will drop that same summer on June 10. It gets fairly outrageous from there: The First Avenger: Captain America appears May 11, 2011, followed by The Avengers — combining Iron Man, Captain America, The Incredible Hulk and Thor a mere two months later. (The studio says its sitting out 2009 as a result of a development lag left over from the writers strike.)

From tonight's episode, here's Fox's Family Guy roasting actor Matthew McConaughey to a crisp. The character Stewie tells the perpetually shirtless McConaughey he hasn't made anything worthwhile since Dazed And Confused and "you need to go away." McConaughey takes this as a compliment on his ability to make lots of money on "terrible films." It goes from there. (Thanks to Gawker video wizard Richard Blakeley for the late-night find.)

An extremely tense Matthew McConaughey anxiously paced the set of his latest film on Wednesday night. The normally carefree actor has expressed disappointment to his inner circle that the weather in Boston does not allow him to be shirtless as often as he would like. It reportedly has been a few weeks since he was last able to casually stroll about all natural and he feels as if he's going to explode.

Despite the fact that only a couple of fools went to see Fool's Gold when it opened Stateside back in February, stars Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey are still dutifully promoting the film over in London. And McConaughey is still dutifully making a fool of himself. The dad-to-be didn't strip down and play naked bongos on the red carpet, but he did have trouble keeping his eyes off Hudson's satin-clad new curves. Curves which managed to leave everyone feeling "seasick" due to her green gown clashing with a gimmicky blue carpet. Kate's solution? Revisit those Lessons We All Learned In College and maneuver into a new dress in the confines of a "loo" stall!

Shocking (shocking!) news has surfaced that yet another flat-chested actress was deemed not voluptuous enough for her movie poster. The lusty marketing team behind Fool's Gold are not fools; they realized that Kate Hudson's no Lindsay Lohan in the breast department. To that end, The Daily Mail is reporting that Hudson's natural A-cups were boosted up to Bs in promotional pictures for the film, possibly in an effort to give Matthew McConaughey's pecs a run for their money. But Kate's not the only cleavage-challenged actress that's been digitally bazoomed on a poster. Anyone remember the titular tales behind Keira Knightley, Jessica Alba, Emma Watson and yes, even Lindsay Lohan's digital enhancements? We do!

Happy news for fellas who just like to lay back with a cold one and soak up the rays: Stoner romantic comedy actor Matthew McConaughey is launching his own clothing line, called j.k. livin [Us]. The "j.k." stands for "just keep," and the "livin" stands for the recognition that stressing out over things like grammar can totally kill the leisurely pace at which life should be enjoyed. So far it looks like the line just features a half ass t-shirt, but hey, why worry? In a complementary move, McConaughey's girlfriend, Brazilian model Camila Alves, has launched her own line of astoundingly pricey handbags. Together, these items will bring the pleasures of Hollywood to you, the consumer. Photos of her $1,350 monstrosities, and her man's halfhearted t-shirt/ wristband set, after the jump.

It's hard to be Matthew McConaughey. He has to deal with the paparazzi not just outside the hotel, but inside the lobby, up the stairs, and all around the door to his room! They were probably attracted by the irresistible scent of Dolce & Gabanna cologne wafting in his footsteps. But he was sick of it, apparently, since he has to rip off his shirt immediately upon entering his room. Dear Lord, will the celebrity shirtlessness never end? This company needs a new Chief Idea Officer. Full ad below[via JJ's Dirt], complete with the stoner actor's derivative top-shedding.

When you think about it, there was really nowhere else for Matthew McConaughey to go with his career besides fragrance pitchman. Having already drained Hollywood of every last romcom spec requiring frequent toplessness of its male lead, the Texan matinee idol is now veering into entirely new multi-million-dollar payout realms to further explore his torso-exposing art.

As the fuzzy memories of drunkenly shaving MAMA into the back of your head following Kanye West's moving Grammy tributes to his mother slowly come into focus, have a look at the weekend box office numbers:

Matthew McConaughey popped by the Late Show with David Letterman last night, having at some point in the hours since his Today Show appearance discovered the magical, groove-restoring properties of greasy hair product. It wasn't long before the actor had a bug-eyed Letterman caught helpless inside his mighty yarn-spinning coils, as he recounted the time during the Fool's Gold shoot when he dispatched a group of adventuresome children to hunt down a mostly inert snake lurking uncomfortably close to his sleeping quarters.

In celebration of his sizable contribution to the shirt-eschewing arts, the LAT has compiled a slideshow celebrating six decades (has it been that long since Dazed and Confused? Time really does fly) of Matthew McConaughey toplessness in the public eye. So enjoy their pictorial history of a life in abs, a handsome companion piece to the Gary Busey: Allergic to Pants gallery that ran earlier in the week. [LAT]

First things first: How about that Matthew McConaughey's new haircut? Appearing on The Today Show to promote Fool's Gold (formerly Romancing the Stoner), the shirt-averse movie star unveiled a jarring new squaredo. Once we adjusted to the thought of McConaughey being robbed of the luscious, starfish-and-seaweed tangled manlocks that for so long have defined his freespirited, shaka-sign-delivering attitude, however, we were able to focus on what he was actually saying to a very giggly Meredith Vieira. (God she loves her job!)

Right off the bat, let's get something straight. We are ALL for pre-marital sex. In fact, if pre-marital sex didn't exist, well ... we don't even want to think about a world where pre-marital sex doesn't exist. But really (and we ask this out of curiousity more than anything else), does anyone else find Hollywood's recent spate of high profile out-of-wedlock baby announcements the least bit peculiar? We know the WGA strike has freed up a lot of time for a lot of us, but that doesn't explain why notoriously toxic bachelors like David Spade and Matthew McConaughey decided to throw caution (and their condoms) to the wind. So then, what can we attribute this (sorta joyous!) news to? As with most of ills permeating our society these days, we're gonna place the blame squarely on the shoulders of Juno.

"He lived. He lived well, he lived hard. He lived strong, he lived full-throttle. He's forever in flight now. And you know what? He doesn't have to come back down! He doesn't have to land." With those moving words, a surprisingly eloquent Matthew McConaughey sent Evel Knievel, the greatest daredevil of them all, off to jump the biggest motorcycle ramp in Heaven. [LiveVideo.com]

• Just when you thought nothing to do with the failed marriage of Two and A Half Men star Charlie Sheen and softcore somebody Denise Richards could ever, ever be interesting! ""Go cry to your bald mom, you [bleeping] loser," he emailed her once. Her mom is undergoing chemo. [Page Six]