McKinsey & Co.'s penny-pinching audit of Conde Nast is underway, and they're successfully striking fear into the hearts of employees at all levels. Apparently magazines are expected to "make money," now?

We showed you the insider's guide surviving McKinsey & Co.'s culling of the Conde Nasties, but it turns out that reality television staple Survivor also hold plenty of (probably useless) advice to outwit, outplay, and outlast your coworkers.

We asked, and you answered. After the jump, everything you need to know about how to survive a McKinsey & Co. visit to your company, without getting canned. This one's for you, Conde Nasties.

In your cackling Wednesday media column: Hoda Kotb describes her love of working with the mentally ill, Conde Nast's other McKinsey go-around, an intern is led astray by J-School demons, and Janice Min denies everything.

• Why did Janice Min leave Us? It was about money, reports WWD, which explains that given the economy, Jann Wenner wasn't prepared to offer her the $2 million a year she's been collecting. Min is denying it. [WWD, NYDN]
• Dan Rather’s $70 million lawsuit against CBS is back on track. [NYT, WSJ]
• McKinsey has been retained by Condé Nast to do the sort of "rethinking" and "realigning" that the consulting firm gets paid enormous sums to do. And while it isn't the first time McKinsey has been in the building—they were hired by Condé in 2001—this time employees are totally freaking out. [NYO]
• One title that is doing well: Food Network Magazine, apparently. [CNY]
• ESPN's Erin Andrews was secretly videotaped in the nude while staying at a hotel. Now an ESPN employee is said to have been behind it. [NYDN, AP]

Floundering Conde Nast has hired McKinsey & Co. to help them "rethink" the way they do business, which usually involves layoffs. Not to worry, Conde Nasties! Our worldly readers will help you survive this trying time.

• Janice Min isn't renewing her contract as editor-in-chief of Jann Wenner's Us Weekly. Her No. 2, Michael Steele, will become acting editor in chief. [NYT]
• Condé Nast announced yesterday that it had retained the management consulting firm McKinsey to "develop new perspectives." They sure have their work cut out for them. Condé revealed today that its monthly mags witnessed a 37 percent drop in advertising in September. [Gawker, AdAge, NYO]
• More pain at Condé may be on the way: "Significant cost cuts, including more layoffs and the closing of more magazines" are coming, says Keith Kelly. [NYP]
• Yet more Condé news: The company is closing down Men.Style.com so it can focus on the soon-to-be relaunched websites of GQ and Details. [AdAge]
• The Boston Globe's largest union voted yesterday to approve the new contract that had been proposed by the New York Times Co. [NYT, E&P]
• This can't be a good sign about the state of affairs at CNN: Time Warner Cable is moving it from channel 10 to 78 and replacing it with FX. [MCN]

So Conde Nast has hired McKinsey, the smartest people in the world, to "develop new perspectives" for them. What does it usually mean when McKinsey's asked to do that? Layoffs!

That was quick. Here is the grim memo that Condé Nast CEO Chuck Townsend just sent out announcing that it is bringing in McKinsey & Company to "develop new perspectives on optimizing our approach to business." This will be brutal.

Dozens of perks both large and small have vanished at financial firms in recent months as the recession has deepened. Sadly, Deutsche Bank employees can no longer expect to be reimbursed for "adult entertainment." They're also barred from checking into hotels early. (Those who arrive for a morning meeting are expected to shower and shave at the airport rather than charge an extra day at the hotel.) Many junior UBS staffers are now being forced to fly coach. Goldman Sachs informed employees in London that they'd have to cut back on taxis and and meals; traders at Goldman in New York now have to buy their own beverages. (The bin of free soda and bottled water was removed.) And employees at various firms say the office temperature has gone up as firms try to keep energy costs under control.

George Reyes, Google's current CFO, announced his retirement last August. But he won't be getting the office party and the gold watch until nearly a year later, when Patrick Pichette, formerly president of operations at Bell Canada, assumes the position on August 12th. Pichette also has experience working for top management consulting firm McKinsey & Company where he worked with North American telecoms. Pichette only has an MA, no PhD, but it is from Oxford. He'll be wandering the Googleplex as of August 1st, giving him some time to acclimatize to the local cult before taking over the company's financials. Full release after the jump.

In India, McKinsey has an office called the McKinsey Knowledge Center. It provides "knowledge management," which I think means having poorly paid Indian college graduates Google information that six-figure McKinsey management consultants are too busy, or lazy, to find themselves. A dispiriting job, from the sounds of it. And yet the offshore oppressed have found a way to celebrate their lot in life with an anthem. Invidiographer Richard Blakeley has mashed it up with a Bollywood clip for a music video. The clip, in my opinion, puts the global transmigration of technology jobs in human terms: The razzle-dazzle sell made to clients and employees, and the crushing existential despair after reality sets in.