Though the great American dream of McMansion ownership is gone forever, the scaled-down American dream of McMansion renter-ship is still within reach. In California, for example, "thousands" of sell-out college kids are occupying McMansions to cut down their housing costs and study in hot tubs.

This heartless recession has stolen from America our most treasured national totems. Huge SUVs? Too gas-guzzling. Sprawling suburbs far removed from the "diverse" cities? Reduced to slums. And now, the recession is coming for our very homes.

The Way We Live Now: Stripped up, ripped up, shacked up and backed up. From the chicken plant recession war to the Amish RV salesman slinging jelly to the empty rows of McMansions—getting paper is a life-threatening hobby.