Did you hear? America's favorite boobs—those belonging to Katy Perry—are performing at the Super Bowl XLVIV Halftime Show. Did you also hear? Taylor Swift, b. 1989, hates those boobs. So naturally, Radar reports, Tayla is gonna destroy the halftime show.

10 years after the release of Mean Girls, "You go, Glen Coco!" endures as one of the movie's best catchphrases. But the man, the myth, the legend, the guy with four candy-cane-grams, Glen Coco, wasn't actually hired or paid to be in the film. Actor David Reale told Dazed how he ended up there anyway.

Tina Fey confirms that there is no Mean Girls sequel on the way: "We're going to see if there's any way to get everyone together [for the movie's 10th anniversary], but not a movie, sadly. We're all past high school age." By "sadly," I think she means, "thankfully."

It's October 3rd.

...Or, at least, that's what Next Movie is claiming their intern Christopher Rosa is doing in the video below. I haven't checked the original script against his recitation. But even if he isn't entirely accurate, this is a mesmerizing twenty-nine minutes and seven seconds of a person in a room talking to himself while barely taking the time to breathe. It has the feel of a show on TLC.

Last Monday, Madonna arrived in Malawi a VIP. Last Saturday, she left the country with her VIP status revoked.

It is 1986. We are 13- and 14-year-olds, rank-smelling in unwashed teenager jeans, unsupervised and latch-keyed after school, huddled around the face of the future: The screen of a first-generation Apple Macintosh personal computer. Within the machine's non-dairy creamer-colored casing is a malleable visual playground unlike anything we had seen before: Manic fonts, brick-wall patterns summoned with a mouse-click and distorted at will, spray-paint lines of variable size and density.

Today's date is October 3rd. If you forget the date at any time today, please revisit this video to jog your memory.

Four for whoever leaked this behind-the-scenes look at a just-for-fun rap-through of math enthusiast / bad-ass MC Kevin Gnapoor's well-quoted Winter Talent Show rap from the 2004 cult film Mean Girls, attended by Amy Poehler, Lindsay Lohan, and screenwriter Tina Fey.

Six tweenage girls from Nevada, the moral wasteland that bore demon Sharron Angle from its sandy loins, were arrested after police discovered a Facebook event they'd created that was dedicated to threatening certain teachers with violence.

This week, the Fashion Police discussed the dresses the stars of Black Swan rocked at the film's premiere. The opinions: Mila Kunis? Fabulous. Winonna Ryder? Horrid. Natalie Portman's Christian Dior dress gets an A, but her book-as-a-purse gets an F.

Oh, you hadn't heard that this movie was coming out? That's probably because it's heading straight to DVD. Inside, watch the trailer for the monstrosity that seems to have left out Lindsay Lohan, Tina Fey, and the entire original cast.

There was a divide among the guys and the gals last night: Hillary Duff appeared as the school's bitchy Mean Girls-type leader, the girls adopted Abed into their clan, who fought against silly bitches with his cruel words.

Things to keep in mind while silently judging your fellow party-goers this weekend: "In girl world, Halloween is the one night a year where a girl can dress like a total slut and nobody can say anything about it."

Hillary Clinton made a major mistake in preparing for yesterday's meeting with the UN by selecting a hair clip that has now made her the laughing stock of morning television. Can't the Secretary of the State get some respect?

Kathie Lee's insults to her cohost reached a new low today when she made cruel comments about Hoda's looks. The awkward, uncalled-for jokes made us wonder when the day will come that Hoda finally snaps.

We hate this story, but this might matter if you've invited the Sandra Bullock homewrecker to stay in your Rapture bunker. Michelle McGee has apparently filmed a hilarious yet-to-be-released video spoofing the affair, in which a clever friend plays Bullock.

This is quite the editing feat. Video from various Disney movies is sync'd up (almost) perfectly to match the audio from the Mean Girls trailer. The idea is brilliant, and the execution is even better.

She said "god bless her" afterwards, so it's OK that rockstar wifey Sharon Osbourne ridiculed Susan Boyle in a truly filthy way that will be forever seared in my memory, right?

Check out this picture of disgraced Dolce & Gabbana flack-turned alleged felon voicemail hacker Ali Wise being like, "OMG...Muscle Milk Light?!" What? Oh, today's news: Ali Wise was mean, say snitches. Others say: Nuh uh!