A new "behavioural capability framework" proposed by the administration at RMIT University in Australia would require professors to be "positive" and "optimistic," as a rule. It would mandate niceness, in academia.

Breaking: nice guys finish last. Confirmed, true, just one more way you lose. That's why Chad has a Porsche and you don't. Sorry, bitch.

This guy went with the nuclear option during a fight with his girlfriend.

Here is security camera footage of Harlem resident Carlos Baez in an elevator, yanking the leash of his tiny dog, "Dutch," and angrily swinging the terrified little thing around by its throat.

Police have arrested seven Bronx men ranging in age from 16 to 23 on charges that they lured three gay men to an apartment and beat and tortured them last weekend.

Iran's really had a hard time deciding whether it will stone Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani to death for adultery. Well, they've formally suspended the stoning! She still faces 99 lashes. She "might still be executed by hanging." But no stones! [NYT]

Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure is the most famous breast cancer charity in the world. They've helped so many people. Everyone except other charities. Susan Komen will cut a bitch for wearing the wrong colors.

The recent death of a homeless Good Samaritan has tabloid morality arbiter Andrea Peyser wondering how New Yorkers "can be so callous." Especially when they have nice role models like Andrea Peyser, who always advocates for niceness? [NYP]

Do you hate dogs? Great. Awesome idea for you: adopt a dog, then decide that the dog's barking annoys you, then have the dog's vocal cords severed so it can't bark ever again. Stupid dogs, always behaving naturally. [NYT]

The Way We Live Now: Being mean. On purpose! The good thing about being mean is that is is fun to make others feel your pain. Homeless shantytown? Bulldoze it! Rich bankers? Tax em! Church money? Steal it! Whee.

Your Daily Monster: Mom keeps teen locked in closet for most of 4 1/2 years.

Sometimes the New York Post inches over the line from "amusing" into "despicable." Okay, not sometimes—all the time. Today, in particular! Sandra Boss' husband lied to her, conned her for years, and then kidnapped their child. So Sandra should be thrown in jail, according to the Post.

The Strand, the humongous New York bookstore by Union Square that is like one of the biggest used book stores ever of all time, has always attracted lots of young workers who take the low pay in exchange for the cool factor of working at the place, and the chance to be around books all day. One negative: the store is run by a despised woman named Nancy Bass Wyden (trivia: she's married to Oregon Senator Ron Wyden). I've known several people who worked at The Strand, and they universally agree on her tyranny. Now, the New York Press has actually done some investigative work on the claims, and it's found evidence for allegations of racial discrimination, callous disregard for pregnant women, and—most terrifyingly—"fungus from rats."

Here on day two of the Roger Clemens Infidelity Scandal And Schadenfreude Festival Of '08, it's becoming more clear that the brawny former Yankees ace pitcher and full time jerk did in fact cheat on his wife with the wild country singer Mindy McCready. Because now she's admitted it! McCready said the two did have an ongoing affair, although the sex didn't start until she was of legal age. They first met when she was only 15, (Miley Cyrus joke). But the most entertaining aspect of this scandal is how Clemens—heroic, honored, self-righteous, dismissive of critics, a King of New York—is turning into an uncanny baseball version of another recently fallen hero: Eliot Spitzer.