Before the Obama Regime began tapping journalists' phone lines and crushing Wikileaks' ability to accept credit card donations, right wingers traditionally occupied the role of harassing journalists and those who leaked scandals to the media. Who wants to "execute and torture" these bad people? Roger Ailes!

It's funny the things that sneak up on you after a life spent in narcoleptic yammering with the giants of our age. What with the crazy hours and interviews to prep — starting a family just falls between the cracks.