Former Louisiana Gov. Buddy Roemer will apparently run for president! Sure, why not? He's most famous for losing a gubernatorial primary to white supremacist monster David Duke in 1991, as an incumbent. Speaking of Duke, why isn't he running?

Fred Karger is a retired Republican operative who's pulled off some nasty hatchet jobs in presidential elections past. Now he's a gay activist and running for president himself, pretty much just to harass Mitt Romney in televised debates.

Former Virginia Sen. George Allen, who was considered an early Republican frontrunner for the 2008 presidential election until he started throwing around obscure racial slurs in his failed 2006 Senate reelection bid, wants his seat back. Hide, minorities!

Yesterday, we noted that no Republican candidates had joined the 2012 presidential race, even though many did by this stage in the last cycle. But today someone formed an exploratory committee! He's Herman Cain. Who the hell is Herman Cain?

The only debate in New York's gubernatorial race happens tonight! Will Carl Paladino finally just kick Andrew Cuomo in the balls before fleeing the country? Yes. But what about the other five candidates who'll be participating? Prepare for madness.

Today in "Meet Your Candidates," we look at West Virginia Senate candidate John Raese. What's your plan, John? "We need 1000 laser systems put in the sky and we need it right now." John Raese, everybody. [via]

Rich Iott, the congressional candidate who plays Nazi dress-up for purely educational purposes, said today that he's disappointed in GOP Rep. Eric Cantor for disowning him "before he had all the facts." Poor, poor Nazi dress-up candidate.

At least one dingbat in the country is still talking about the proposed Islamic community center blocks from Ground Zero: Renee Elders, Republican congressional candidate from North Carolina. In this ad, she explains the history of "victory mosques."

Thank you, New York Republicans, for nominating racist porn e-mailer Carl Paladino as your gubernatorial candidate! Because he's funny. Now, for example, he's sending out "garbage-scented" mailers to 200,000 households — as a metaphor for Albany, see?

The GOP is getting tired of these Tea Party candidates putting their expected Senate pick-ups in jeopardy. Christine O'Donnell, a weird anti-masturbation lady running for the Republican Senate nomination in Delaware, is the latest example. The party wants her gone.

Phil Davison, unsuccessful GOP candidate for treasurer of Ohio's Stark County, was shocked to hear he'd become famous yesterday after video of his most insane campaign speech ever went viral. Apparently, he's never really been on YouTube before.

California Congressman Duncan Hunter's opponents really want to debate him, enough that they'll starve themselves for at least eight days in protest (they're on day six now.) Will Duncan Hunter have blood on his hands?

In a campaign season swelling with populism, where candidates try to out-folk each other and prove their anti-elitist credentials, having a symbol of extreme wealth as potent as a 145-foot yacht is already a liability.

Former Vice President Dan Quayle's son, Ben, is running for Congress in Arizona, where he lives with his imaginary children. Remember how Dan Quayle was famously airheaded? Well, as Ben's campaign progresses, it's becoming obvious that he inherited that gene.

Dan Maes, a silly Republican running for Colorado governor, says that his potential Democratic challenger, Denver mayor John Hickenlooper, is "converting Denver into a United Nations community" via his efforts to promote bike-riding, which "could threaten our personal freedoms." Seriously.

Sharron Angle, the far-right Senate candidate from Nevada whose ineptitude may keep Harry Reid in office, gave a hilarious interview to Fox News over the weekend explaining her selective media strategy: "We needed to have the press be our friend."

Jeff Greene, the weird billionaire playboy who, for some reason, wants to be Florida's Democratic senator, owns a "party yacht" called Summerwind and employs a staff to maintain it. And the staff of Summerwind really, really hate Jeff Greene.

Independent candidates for Wisconsin's state assembly are allotted five words on the ballot to explain themselves. Milwaukee's Ieshuh Griffin went with the classic, "NOT the 'whiteman's bitch.'" (They're so focus-grouped, these days.) Why would the state election board reject this?

Michigan congressional candidate Bill Cooper is serious about deficits. Riffing on the legendary 1964 LBJ scare ad, "Daisy," Cooper promises to repel nuclear weapons of debt headed directly at children. What about real nuclear weapons, though? Will he repel those?

Finally, some Lindsay Lohan news! (Kind of.) An out of place middle-aged man has been identified in photos from Lohan's New Year's Eve trip to St. Barth's: Jeff Greene, weird billionaire Democratic Senate candidate from Florida!