Countess LuAnn of Crackerjacks, Real Housewife of New York, thinks Megan Fox's sexual revelations are just too much. "Megan Fox has a tendency to overshare... there is usually an ulterior motive for revealing so much about one's private life." [OK]

Child Services storms Chateau Jackson when Jermaine's kid puts Blanket's life in peril. Megan Fox announces she's only slept with two men. Jolie and Franco are shoo-ins for based-on-a-true-story suicidal artist roles. Wednesday gossip is full of surprises.

The Academy Awards have become more about the clothes and less about the awards themselves. Too bad all the ensembles are bland creations some stylist picked out. It's time to free ourselves from the tyranny of the Worst Dressed List!

Don't worry, she followed it up with "shhh." A Real Housewife gets bounced from Fashion Week. Kelly Osbourne and Peaches Geldof's elaborate dance of avoidance implodes. John Mayer's so far gone, even Oprah won't touch him. Wednesday gossip cometh.

• Super Bowl XLIV made history last night: It's now the most-watched TV program in U.S. history, having bypassed the finale of M*A*S*H in 1983. [THR]
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have filed suit against the Rupert Murdoch's News of the World for reporting the couple was separating. [Guardian]
• Talks between Fox and Conan O'Brien seem to be moving ahead. As for the Super Bowl ad featuring Letterman and Leno, Letterman was reportedly interested in having Conan appear as well, although it didn't pan out.
• Ellen DeGeneres makes her debut on American Idol tomorrow. Meanwhile, talks to have Howard Stern replace Simon Cowell next season are progressing.
• Mixed news for the magazine business: newsstand sales fell in the second half of 2009, although the situation was even worse a year ago. [NYT, AdAge]
• Sarah Palin won't have to fly to NYC to tape her appearances on Fox News: The network is building its new "contributor" a TV set in her living room. [NYT]
• After dominating the box office for seven weeks, Avatar was dethroned by Dear John this weekend, although it remained No. 1 internationally. [MTV]
• Ads for Snickers, Doritos, and Google were big winners with Super Bowl viewers this year. As for the Motorola spot starring Megan Fox, she may be the first person in history to have had a "thumb double." [Reuters, NYT, NYM]

Claire Danes plays the I-will-win-an-award-if-I-play-a-person-with-disabilities card with her new role in the HBO movie Temple Grandin. It looks like another potentially embarrassing stop in a career full of misfires. Still, Danes is worth her weight in street cred. How?

L.A. Dodger Matt Kemp squeezed Rihanna. Who's happier, him or the photographer who shot it? Vince Vaughn gets married. Gaga gets a new look. Jeremy Piven has a lobotomy scar? Tuesday gossip has room for argument.

That's the normal reaction when Hugh Grant touches your butt, right? Rachel Uchitel finally goes to the press, Rihanna wants to make out with Megan Fox, Ben and Jen mate like bunnies. Wednesday gossip, yours for the taking.

• In what may be the weirdest celebrity extortion attempt ever, a German male model named Edis Kayalar has been arrested for trying to blackmail Cindy Crawford and her husband Rande Gerber with a "sexy" photo of the couple's then 7-year-old daughter "in revealing clothing, bound to a chair and gagged." Apparently, the pic had been taking by the girl's former babysitter during an innocent game of cops and robbers and she used to date Kayalar. [NYDN, People]
• All those phone calls that Michael Lohan recorded may ultimately land him in jail (again). A 2005 protective order obtained by Dina Lohan banned him from communicating with her by email or phone until 2011. [TMZ]
• Spend enough time on Twitter and you, too, may find yourself dating a beautiful young starlet! Emmy Rossum says her relationship with Counting Crows singer Adam Duritz "began with a Tweet," believe it or not. [People]

There's a new playa on the club scene, have you heard? When he recently blazed past the velvet rope at Avenue, one naive young partygoer wondered aloud, "Is it P. Diddy?" No, it wasn't Diddy. It was someone even better! It was Taek Jho Low, the man making it rain at clubs all over town! Sure, he may not look like a baller—he's a doughy, bespectacled, 20-something Malaysian and Wharton graduate—but don't be fooled. Jho Low is taking bottle service to an entirely new level, and bankers who drop a mere $5,000 per night could do well to take some lessons from this guy.

The Post reported that a mysterious Malaysian man spent $160k in nightclub Avenue in one night and, among other ridiculous debauchery, flew Megan Fox to Vegas for his birthday. He's not the first super-rich guy to have such an idea.

• After another wild day in court, Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook settled their latest round of legal issues yesterday. But not before Brinkley called her ex an "extreme narcissist," and Cook returned the favor by telling reporters she was an "angry, bitter, vindictive woman." At least it's nice to know they still have feelings for each other, though! [NYP, NYDN]
• As easy as it is to picture Courtney Love sitting in front of her computer punching numbers into an Excel spreadsheet, it turns out she may not be the best financial planner in the world. Love owes $300K in back taxes, according to the government. [TMZ]
• Michael Lohan says he knows who Lindsay's drug dealer is and he plans to reveal all in an effort to "save" his daughter. So who is he? "He has no job. He does nothing. All he does is supply everyone in LA." Call us crazy, but supplying "everyone" in LA sounds like a pretty good job to us. [Radar, NYDN]
• Get ready to see a lot more of Megan Fox dressed in, well, not much: Giorgio Armani has tapped her to star in his new underwear ad campaign. [WWD]

• Despite several tabloid reports yesterday that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel had broken up, they were photographed holding hands on Monday in Santa Barbara. So what's going on? "Things have been rocky the last few months, but they're working it out," one source tells the Post. ("They've been spending more time apart... and they've been reevaluating their relationship," another tells People.) Oh, and what about those Rihanna rumors? JT and Ri Ri are apparently just working on a track together. [People, P6, NYDN]
• Another dubious rumors making the rounds: that Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez are expecting a baby. Hudson's rep is denying it. [NYDN]
• Madonna told David Letterman that she'd "rather get run over by a train" than remarry again. Poor Jesus doesn't have a prayer, it seems. [HP]
• Lauren Conrad has snagged a movie deal for L.A. Candy, her debut novel about a totally unfamiliar topic, "a 19-year-old who moves to Hollywood, quickly finds fame as a reality series star and then has to deal with the ramifications of living a fishbowl life." [Variety]

• The Kardashian girls continue to rake it in. Khloe Kardashian tied the knot with LA Laker Lamar Odom last night at a ceremony and reception was paid for by E!. (The event will be featured on an upcoming episode of E!'s Keeping Up With the Kardashians.) She may collect $250,000 more by selling photos of the nuptials. [People, TMZ, P6]
• After spending three decades as a fugitive on charges he raped a 13-year-old in 1978, famed director Roman Polanski was arrested in Switzerland on Saturday while on his way to attend the Zurich Film Festival. [NYDN, ABC]
• One of Saturday Night Live's brand new cast members, Jenny Slate, dropped an F-bomb on the show. [YouTube, NYDN]

Ah, Saturday Night Live. You're back, and with you, you brought some new names, a huge gaffe on the first night, a much-ballyhooed guest star, Jesus, Ghandi, and every bar in Midtown East's favorite band, U2. How'd you do?

What's Barack Obama got in common with Megan Fox? Mediaite/Rachel Sklar knows. Sigh.

Megan Fox has super special sexual powers. Avril Lagine's love-life is "komplicayted," or however she spells it. Jon Gosselin is still around. Justin Timberlake's a funny drunk. Babies, rappers, Yokos, McSteamies, and more! Presenting your Rosh Hashana Morning Gossip Roundup.

In the most misguided media decision of the decade, Rolling Stone opted to let online readers look at the pictures from their recent Megan Fox cover story, but held back the text from the internet, making them pay for words.

Lindsay Lohan tried to pull rank on Taylor Momsen — and failed. Megan Fox successfully summed herself up. And Princess Margaret burned Princess Diana. Oh, yeah! It's your Thursday morning Gossip Roundup!

• Just as Jude Law is getting ready to play Hamlet on Broadway next month, his most recent baby mama, model Samantha Burke, has her lawyers offering up an exclusive interview and pics of their soon-to-be-born love child. Ah, there's nothing like milking a little publicity. [P6]
• Madonna bailed on Marc Jacobs' after-party at Hiro on Monday eve despite attending his show. Not to worry: Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton, and Rachel Zoe were all there, so there were plenty of people to stir up trouble. [NYDN]
• It looks like LiLo has made her 15-year-old sister, Ali, her new partner-in-crime when she goes out to party at night. We have a feeling this isn't going to end well. [MSNBC]
• Michelle Williams opens up about Heath Ledger's death in Vogue's October issue: "After the first year, the pain is less intense; it's less immediate... But every time I really miss him and wonder where he's gone, I just look at [Matilda]," she tells the magazine. [Vogue]