Variety has laid their eyes on what could be the most anticipated Sarah Jessica Parker film in history—that's right, Sex and The City: The Movie—and printed their review. [This would be a good time for anyone who wants nothing spoiled and/or rained upon to slide their fingers in their ears, stare up at the ceiling, and start humming the opening notes of its theme. "Da-DA-dada...da-DA-da! I can't hear you!"] Verdict: They're just not that into it. Highlights follow after the jump.