The New York Times would like to cut its employees pay by 5%, but before that goes into effect for reporters and other members of the Newspaper Guild, they need the union's okay. A memo that just went out after a council meeting says the Guild is loath to take the pay cut because a) they're pretty sure the 60-80 layoffs the NYT is threatening will happen with or without the pay cut and b) it would make more sense to save money by firing some of the do-nothing managers.

The unending cavalacade of bad news is not the only reason people are feeling nauseous in magazineland these days. Earlier today a stench was making people feel sick at ESPN and they had to evacuate. Happily everyone's back to work.

Yes, we saw the Guardian piece, YouTube's upside-down layout and Google's blogging robot Panda. Sorta funny. Funnier are the memos being forwarded around media orgs, such as "Forbes to Sell Brother." Send us others!

For your perusal. The salary cut memo:

The New York Times has completed the first step: admitting it has a problem. The internal memo is out, confirming today's rumored pay cuts (and layoffs). This is big news.

In your customary Monday media column: Another paper goes online-only, new magazines magically appear, a plagiarism scandal rocks Ocala, and a nice happy WSJ memo:

An AIG corporate security memo, leaked to Gawker, advises employees on how not to fall victim to the populist horde calling for their heads. Click to see it in full.

Wall Street Journal editor Robert Thomson urged his charges to work faster. To underline the point, some system that feeds WSJ stories to Dow Jones Newswires will now be called "URGENT" instead of "Speedy."

The Salisbury, Maryland mayor's State of the City address starts typically enough, with talk of drainage, crime, road paving and federal stimulus funds. Then comes the part about the fascist blogger coup.

After thirty years at Time Inc., Jim Kelly is stepping down as the magazine group's managing editor, according to an email he just sent out, reproduced after the jump.

Nickelodeon has finally read the internet. A week too late. They sent an urgent memo out today, recognizing their dumb mistake in keeping girlfriend-beater Chris Brown among the nominees for their Kids' Choice Awards.

Condé Nast advertising is down a terrifying 30 percent this year, leading to speculation a bunch more people will be fired. Condé's CEO reassured everyone that, yes, they could be fired.

Google paid $125 million to settle copyright charges over its scanning of 7 million books. Today authors were told their cut: $60 to $300 per title. Woo?

Yahoo's new CEO Carol Bartz hates leaks, and we love Yahoo org charts, so the fact that we've received her announcement of the new Yahoo corporate structure is some kind of harmonic convergence.

Jesus, working at Politico.com sounds basically like joining the brutal, conniving gang of "Others" on ABC island thriller Lost, judging from an internal memo that just surfaced. Click for highlights.

It was upsetting enough for employees to hear the New York Daily News was ending its 401(k) contributions (memo below). The jokes about bigwigs' extensive stock holdings only made matters worse.

Useless middle managers, desperate to stay busy and avoid layoffs, are coming up with ever dumber corporate responses to the recession. We will discover and mock them all, with your assistance.

Tribune Co. Chief InnLOLvation Officer Lee Abrams has a new memo! "CELEBRITY CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY...We can't underestimate our importance these days. We can change this cultural disease." Both of those assertions are false.

Last Friday the New York Times sent out a memo telling staffers it's cracking down on expenses across the board. Sunday it published Maureen Dowd's (expensed) account of three days at Canyon Ranch resort. Huh:

Look, a "note from Arthur." He probably wants to wish us merry Christmas, right? No, he is announcing that he will give none of you a raise in 2009.