Have you ever written a "note to self" about your current job situation? Ever accidentally mailed it to a huge publishing e-mail list? Some people were slightly confused when they received their newsletter from Publishers Lunch this morning. There's a personal message on top! Looks like interview notes, due to the shortcuts and abbreviations. In any case, someone named "Barbara" has been "advising me on an unofficial cpacity as i was looking t play out these two opportunities."

Being on tour is hard work, and cheapo promoters screwing you out of hotel rooms and serving crappy food at every turn doesn't help bring the rock to the kids. There must be standards! In a document procured by the Smoking Gun, rock band the Foo Fighters' tour rider asks for normal stuff, like a "selection of cereals—unopened. Do not recycle from last night's Dio show." Then, in the following excerpt, we learn how to "think outside the box as we consider the CHICKEN BREAST."

Earlier this month, American Lawyer Media laid off 42 staffers across the board. The company is also "scaling back" plans to expand the scope of one magazine, and moving another to an all-digital format, according to an internal memo. One insider says all of the laid off people are gone, but a sense of nervousness still pervades the office. What, lawyers can't afford to buy magazines any more? Cheap bastards. The full memo from ALM CEO Bill Pollak is below.

What's there to say about Newsday? I don't know, I'm not from Long Island. People from Long Island are quite happy with all that beach access. But even with the ocean, writers from Newsday aren't so happy and have been hoping for a takeover, mostly because Sam Zell is an asshole, though occasionally a charming one. Anyway, because Sam Zell is so real , he finally admitted that he's trying to unload the paper. Memo from Newsday publisher Tim Knight via The Observer, after the jump.

Gawker Media Publisher (and acting Gawker Managing Editor) Nick Denton just sent word around that he's sold three sites. April Fool's! Except for real this time! Maura Johnston's Idolator, the music industry gossip and news site, goes to Buzznet—the "music-focused web and social

network" that recently bought Stereogum. Gridskipper, the urban travel site, goes to Lockhart Steele's Curbed network. And Wonkette, Ken Layne's political news site, is now Ken Layne's alone. If you're looking for official comment from us, we think all three sites will be better off under ownership by people who actually care about their respective topics (even though no one should ever buy blogs). Denton's internal email is below, because he's off this morning and why not beat the Observer to running it?

Tribune Co. owner and noted asshole Sam Zell's most charming feature might be his sense of humor. Forget about all the cutbacks at the L.A. Times and how he's trying to drop Newsday: He enjoyed the video a Chicago Tribune intern did for the rival Chicago Sun-Times mocking Zell for selling the naming rights to Wrigley Field. That's leadership! Memo after the jump via L.A. Observed.

Last year, the Times canceled take your daughter (or son, both genders enjoy a day off from school) to work day. But they had an excuse: Children are annoying. Just kidding, the company was moving. This year, the Times is once again pretending that children are the future. Full memo from one of the first beneficiaries of the program, Arthur Sulzberger, Jr., after the jump.

Things are so F'ed at the Times. First the buyouts and now they're cutting their late night shuttle van service from the office to Penn Station and Grand Central. The Times says increased safety around Times Square made the cut possible. But gentrification can't hide the truth: The internet age has made shuttle buses irrelevant. Telecommute home! Full memo after the jump. [via Media Mob]

Is this what it takes to sate an angry mob of permalancers? JoAnne Griffith, the HR exec who delivered to the cable network's freelancers the news before the holidays that their benefits were being cut, is out. MTV, which was forced to reverse the cuts after a walkout by non-salaried workers, came out with the usual boilerplate on Griffith's departure. (Really, why do they even bother?) "She's been a phenomenal leader and great champion for MTV Networks,""This is a large, complex company, and with JoAnne's great human touch and innovative approach to HR, we continue to set a high bar and strive for the best for you," an internal email sent this morning to MTV employees reads. Irreplaceable? No. Replacement Catherine Houser, "has the people skills, innovative ideas, and passion for our company and its employees that we need in an HR leader." Phew. Email and official release after the jump.

In an internal email issued this afternoon, Los Angeles Associated Press assistant bureau chief Frank Baker notified his staff of a major policy change."Now and for the foreseeable future," he wrote, "virtually everything involving Britney is a big deal." OMG, did you hear? Britney is a BIG DEAL, y'all! Nervous breakdowns are totes the most efficient way to achieve household name status. Memo after the jump.

Left in the wake of Barry Diller's acquisitive empire: a flotsam of discarded executives. Doug Lebda, IAC's president and COO since 2003, now joins them. According to an internal memo obtained by Valleywag, Lebda has been appointed CEO of IAC's mortgage and finance businesses, which are soon to be spun off. This can hardly be welcome news to Lebda, who's essentially returning to LendingTree, a business he founded in 1996 and sold to Diller in 2003. Here's the memo.

The Freelancers Union is telling its irate members today that enrollment forms for new health plans were sent to their new provider on Monday and that all of its members should have ID numbers by tomorrow. Or maybe not! According to one freelancer, Empire's customer service says that FU "had sent over 'only a handful' of enrollment forms, and that it could be weeks before everything is processed." Another union member tells us just the opposite: Blue Cross will backdate applications so that FU enrollees can visit health practitioners today, should they need to. Confusion! Mixed messages! "Needless to say, the Union fucked up completely," said the same member. Did the Freelancers Union learn nothing after helping organize striking Viacom permalancers last month? Cost-cutting happens everywhere and always will. But the way bad news is delivered is, in large part, how people will remember you as an organization. Quit screwing it up!

You might think interning under a coal-hearted Elle editor would be totally fun—long days discussing the Hills really loudly in the office and verbally abusing "freelancer Caragh"! But you'd be so so wrong. Three weeks ago interns received an acerbic 5-point 710-word missive, sent from a BlackBerry! Look guys, Elle's Accessories editor Nina Sterghiou is a "big fan of rewarding people for good work, and giving them more responsibility + interesting tasks, but so far no one has proven themselves capable of handling the basics." And also, Merry Christmas, bitches!

"It's a great day," newly-minted CEO Sam Zell says in an email to his "fellow investor" on his first day heading up Tribune Company. Mixing his metaphors and going for grandiose, Zell anounces an era in which the Tribune saves not just your soul but our nation's as well. "We will take intelligent risks and reward innovation," he says. "We will tear down bureaucracy and reward entrepreneurial spirit. We will compete fiercely but with integrity." We will use anaphora! We will! We will! We will! Email after the jump.

Tribune Company CEO Dennis FitzSimons has announced he's stepping down at the end of the year. "I will miss working with you to help achieve the many great things that are ahead for Tribune," he says. New owner Sam Zell, the wildman billionaire who bought the company in April, will replace him as chairman of the board. "It was Sam's creativity, personal commitment and investment which made this transaction possible." Well, yes, his creativity, but mostly his $8.2 billion. [Romenesko]

Now that New York Times staffers are all settled in their fancy new building with the indoor arboretum and the finicky windowpanes, we wondered what the company might be doing to impress upon employees that their comforts and convenience remain priorities. As it turns out, the Times HR department wants everyone to know they're still listening. "We recently implemented some changes to better suit the needs of our employees," reads today's in-houseTimes newsletter [PDF link]. For instance! Bike racks are promised! Name plate holders for the copy desk too! Also, in the interest of convenience, staircases are now numbered "on the inside railing on each staircase—now when walking between floors you can easily know your location." Pardon us for saying so, but aren't well-marked means of egress, you know, prerequisites to passing city building and fire codes? We decided to poke around in the code to find out, and hey, how about that! They totally are.

New York Post staffers just got word via panic-inducing NYPD email of a "chemical explosion" on the 45th floor of their News Corp. office building. The explosion was "POSSIBLY CAUSED BY OXIDIZERS REACTING WITH ACID," reads the memo. "HAZMAT TEAMS ARE RESPONDING," and several surrounding floors have been evacuated. One person has been injured, according to a story on the Post's website, which identifies the explosion as occurring at 1211 Sixth Avenue, "on the 45th floor of a midtown highrise." This might be one of those times where self-referentialism is acceptable, guys. You'll be pleased and much reassured to know that the fire department "HAS BEEN TOLD NOT TO ENTER THE 45TH FLOOR." Memo after the jump.

Explaining to the press why your company has just axed a slew of people isn't exactly fun times. It's even less fun when the people who have been fired are also members of the press. People don't like that! Sometimes the best bad-news strategy is to issue a memo providing copy to reporters while saying nothing at all! Like late this afternoon, when CBS News spokesperson Dana McClintock sent out a meaningless statement that says absolutely nothing about today's CBS Interactive layoffs—and everyone actually printed it, from FishbowlNY to the Huffington Post (which at least called it "not that illuminating") to TVNewser to the Observer's Media Mob. How bad is it? Read it for yourself!

In a memo issued this afternoon, MTV Networks performed a near-180, relenting to complaints from freelancers who were told last week their benefits would be cut. "We've implemented a process for evaluating freelance and temporary employee positions for possible conversion to staff positions," reads the announcement from JoAnne Griffith, MTVN's executive vice president for HR. "This process is currently underway." Freelancers will now have the choice to continue with their current health plan—including dental!—or sign on to MTV's Aetna plan. Either way, they won't have to make the decision until February of next year, nearly three months after the original deadline set by the company last week. Full memo after the jump.

Bid adieu to Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia's Blueprint magazine, according to a memo just sent and to Fishbowlny. Apparently no one read the thing. Not surprising, considering its title, which always invoked to us an awkward how-to-be-fulfilled guide for the 25-45 architect set, rather than the "fresh, fun guide to personal style" it purportedly was. A memo sent to employees this morning says the last standalone issue will be next year's "January/February" issue. "There will be a reduction in staff associated with not publishing Blueprint as a full-frequency magazine, but we expect to re-assign a core team of employees to existing businesses and new projects at MSLO." Lucky ducks! "We believe Blueprint will be more sustainable if leveraged as part of the established Martha Stewart Weddings franchise. Both appeal to women at a similar life stage and we believe this strategy will allow us to better take advantage of the synergistic relationship between the two publications." Synergistic! Leveraged! Sustainable! Franchise! Ah, the empty marketing buzzwords used to confuse the recipients of bad news.