There's unfortunate news coming out of L.A. this morning. Kim Kardashian wrote a tearful goodbye post to her little, Mercy, who died of stomach cancer earlier this week.

Mercy's St. Patrick's Day episode included a gigantic brawl between drunk Irish folks and drunk Italians—what would Snooki and the gang think?! Fortunately, Michelle Tratchenberg's character came to the rescue by dousing them all with a fire extinguisher.

Megan Fox cites confusion in explaining away the infamous flower incident, Ryan Seacrest is developing a Lindsay Lohan reality show, Kate Moss is an absolute pain in the arse girlfriend, and Katie Lee Joel's new man is shagging fashion editors.

An annoying TV show would like some recognition, please. Terrible originals and remakes are getting made all over town. Danny McBride continues his ascendancy. And people get TV deals and I don't.