Comedy Central's new show "Michael & Michael Have Issues" features Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter making so much meta-humor you may just fall down and die. It will also feature—in a true breakthrough—live-action ads! Uh...meta?

Too often, random people contact us, begging to be covered as fameballs. What they don't realize is that fameballdom is an organic process. This guide will help your effort to become ubiquitous and despicable:

"Okay, brainstorm: It's a recession. You've lost your job. What do you do with your time?" (Silence). "Volunteer?" "Good, write it up!" That's how your new most popular recession angle gets made!

Oh lord oh lord, the trend pieces about Facebook's '25 random things' lists are spreading even faster than the freaking lists themselves. They are the kudzu of the media world! Yesterday was only the beginning:

All subversive things in our culture must eventually be co-opted by the very things that they subvert. It's the American way. The American Apparel ad spoofer—who had a months-long run of fame for creating super-porny ripoffs of AA ad posters (which eventually turned out to be Photoshop fakes by the people at Stereohell)—has now become the subject of an actual American Apparel ad. In Vice magazine, naturally! Click through for photos of Dov Charney's victory over artistic mockery:

New York magazine is looking for things—things that are New. For the "All New" issue! Because now that Obama has been elected, everything is New. They're looking for anything New, from architecture to food to music—"the idea," they write in an email to contacts, "is that we're heading into a new era with an opportunity for new thinking and new ways of doing things." Similar emails are circulating from at least two other magazines. And these desperate trend-chasers have unwittingly struck on an important question: Has our national craving for the Next New Thing now surpassed the supply of actual Next New Things? The answer is yes, but that doesn't mean that America will give up on the search for What's Next any time soon. There are a lot of suckers in America. Including all of us, at some point. Magazines know this. They've been selling purported access to the Next Big Thing for years—Wired and Popular Mechanics show you the next big technology, The Fader shows you the next big band, Vice shows you the next big drug. But now the counterculture, very broadly speaking—which is to say, everything that everybody who considers themselves cooler than mainstream Middle America considers cool—is becoming the mainstream culture. People are trusting the fucking government. Lots of people, therefore, imagine that we're about to enter into a new version of the 1960s, a flowering of idealism and rich cultural growth, in which the liberal cool people win. More likely: we're about to enter another iteration of the 1970s. The economy is terrible. Cultural idealism that isn't underpinned by financial means quickly crumbles into bitterness. The next big thing will be hating the rich—the heroes of the past two decades. Culturally, Obama isn't our JFK. He's our Jimmy Carter. He may turn out to be a much more successful president than Carter was, but don't be surprised if he's overwhelmed by reality. Expect ridiculous fads to catch on quicker than ever amongst a populace desperate for something cool to cling to. Guns and religion were for the Bushies; Obamamaniacs will be clinging to....whatever New York magazine tells them to. [Pic via]

We don't know Keith Gessen and haven't read his book (and never will!), and obviously we're biased because Gawker turned us evil and we like Choire (and Emily!) but he has a very important essay (THE MOST IMPORTANT TUMBLR RANT OF OUR TIME) that he tumble logged about how people need to stop being mean to him because THEY ARE WHORES INFECTED BY THE STAIN OF WRITING GOSSIP and HE WRITES ABOUT CANCER, CANCER GODDAMMIT. Also stop calling him a blinkered, privileged asshole because that is EXACTLY WHAT REPUBLICANS DO and also, and we quote: "Everyone went to the same six schools. Everyone has dated everyone." It's funny because it is insanely incorrect! Oh my god we haven't even gotten to the worst part.

Poor Sheila. The week she chose to frolic abroad, her internet boyfriend, the musician Ryan Adams, seemingly shut down his blog. But even on vacation, she couldn't tear herself away from her work, nay, her love. When news of the shut down came in, she commented, "why is this genuinely upsetting me that his tumblr is gone, even though i am on vacation and should not even be reading gawker?" Well, Sheila, there's some good news and there's some bad news. The good news is that Ryan Adams's blog is back. The bad news is you're missing the story. Upon his return, RyRy admitted to being as obsessed with you as you are with him.

A U.S. attorney announced the bust of The Emperors' Club last Thursday. We noted that the Duke of Westminster was allegedly linked, back in the day, but otherwise the story seemed mostly innocuous, as the only people named were in brothel management, not customers. Except to the Times reporters who realized that a government official was involved. They learned it was Spitzer by Friday, and they amazingly held on to that news until the following Monday, when they went live with it at 2 p.m. and immediately caused all sorts of media hell to break loose.

Like every other New Yorker, I have no idea what's happening around me until it's reported as a trend in the popular press. Like new moms who become absent-minded due to the stress of raising a young child: they're no longer every parent everywhere, but sufferers of the new disease "momnesia." See by adding mom to amnesia, you speak to the larger trend of moms losing interest in everything except their little angel, with the added bonus of reinforcing gender stereotypes about caretakers. And, as two more anecdotal examples followed by a cute coinage will conclusively prove, trend stories grasping at memorability with made-up words and phrases are now themselves a trend.

Attached, Gawker videographer Alexander Goldberg and Defamer videographer Molly McAleer explore the murky limits of bad taste while discussing the coverage (of the coverage of the coverage) of Heath Ledger's death. You will be edified. There will be tears. [Previously]

Last night while everyone losing their shit in Iowa watching the battle of the century, Britney Spears was waging her own legal fight. A flurry of paparazzi descended upon her home last night to cover her scuffle with the cops and subsequent hospitalization. But what's the nation's reaction? How did Obama and Huckabee stack up against Spears for media love? The results might surprise you.

"The Gawker Guide To Conquering All Media" has, according to Portfolio, sold all of dozens of copies. (Current Amazon rank: 107,116!) Back in 2004, we regularly trashed mini-agent Kate Lee for her all-blogger lineup of book proposals, and wrote: "Enjoy the hype, little bloggers. Take your advances and buy stock in Halliburton while you can." So now we get to tell ourselves—or at least, whatever arm of this company saw a piece of that advance money—that we told you so!

My Cock and I are hitting the road, kids: We've finally found our ticket out. [Copyranter]