A little more than a year ago, Taco Bell created shells out of Doritos Chips. This was a milestone in their endless quest to invent unexpected combinations of melted cheese, mystery meat, crunchy shell, and the most wilted lettuce to grace this green earth. Taco Bell titled this creation "Doritos Locos Tacos."

Taco Cid in West Columbia, South Carolina, is getting some attention this week after a Free Times reporter noticed that employees are made to wear a rather racially charged uniform.

Hey guys, diners, everybody gather 'round please: change of plans for lunch today, and every day. Chipotle is OUT. Taco Bell's new "Cantina" menu is in. Because Taco Bell now has high quality upscale foohahahaha sorry, wait, hahahaha, wait. Sorry. I really tried to keep a straight face there.

President Obama made it back from Ground Zero yesterday just in time for a packed White House Cinco de Mayo party. He prepared for the crowd all sorts of Mexico-related jokes, for which the First Lady served as a useful prop at times. Mexican food is Michelle's favorite, Obama said, adding that "you do not want to be between Michelle and a tamale." Not that she's fat or anything, he hastily adds — she exercises, too! Oh, to be a prop wife.

A Mexican restaurant cashier foiled an attempted cash register robbery last week by throwing a box of empanadas at the thief! (No, not because he stopped to eat them.) He dropped the register, and ran away, "covering his head."

Everybody already knows that the Hamptons is the universe's vortex of suck, but here's another reason why: Restaurant/club owners who, as a method of crowd control, roll up the awning sheltering the crowd outside waiting for tables during a downpour.