"10 Reasons You Shouldn't Date a Mexican Man," by Trisha Velarmino, published today on ThoughtCatalog.com.

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions to caity.weaver@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

¡Hola! That is what the state of Arizona says to its Mexican friends and residents, to distract them from the knife being plunged into their backs at the same moment. The primary problem facing the foreclosure-wracked drought-plagued desert state of Arizona: Mexicans learning things. Arizona will put a stop to that—¡muy rapido!

You know what the state of Arizona needs? More xenophobia. Also, less knowledge of Mexican-American history and more fear and distrust between white people and immigrants. So thank god that a judge has upheld an earlier ruling by Arizona's school superintendent that a Mexican-American studies program in Tucson is a violation of the law, in part because it promotes "resentment toward a race or class of people." White people in Arizona, specifically!

Just when you think that this is America and yew better speak American if you wanna live here because my daddy worked hard to support our family and I don't pay taxes to support a buncha Mescans sneaking over the border to steal my hard-earned dollars and date my daughter, you read something like this: foreigners are making good solid American dollars—millions of 'em!—without even talkin' English like a real human. Is this that "socialism" they're always talking about?

This is what happens when you give up on building a fence around your entire country: Mescans not only sneak in, but they deposit their eggs inside of us, like so many invasive wasp species:

President Obama made it back from Ground Zero yesterday just in time for a packed White House Cinco de Mayo party. He prepared for the crowd all sorts of Mexico-related jokes, for which the First Lady served as a useful prop at times. Mexican food is Michelle's favorite, Obama said, adding that "you do not want to be between Michelle and a tamale." Not that she's fat or anything, he hastily adds — she exercises, too! Oh, to be a prop wife.

House Speaker John Boehner has a message for Mexicans: Drop dead. No, we're sure he loves the Mexicans. But not enough to throw them, and Americans of Mexican heritage, a Capitol Hill party for Cinco de Mayo.

Puffy, halo-haired hypocrite xenophobe Lou Dobbs is absolutely outraged that The Nation would correctly report that he employed illegal immigrants as workers at his various palatial estates. What—do they want Lou Dobbs to start racial profiling?

The Way We Live Now: spreading the wealth around. Around to the richest Americans. They pay most of the taxes, you know? It's only fair. Besides, with the work ethic Mexicans have, they'll be rich soon, too! Haha. Ha.

Congress has passed a $600 million border security bill, sending additional troops and weapons and death planes to defeat the Mexican Menace. So, now that they've gotten their "war stuff," will Republicans work with Democrats on comprehensive immigration reform? Heh.

Arizona spent $1.25 million to build 41 bridges over a busy mountain road to keep squirrels from harm. Sure, there aren't many Mount Graham red squirrels, but only five die on the road each year! Arizona: hates Mexicans, loves rodents.

Whoa: It's an old Sanka ad from the 1940s that's totally racist against Mexicans. How racist? You'll just have to click to enlarge and read the whole racist thing. People like you like this stuff. We hear. [Copyranter]

Right-wing Boston talk radio host Jay Severin was suspended yesterday after calling Mexicans "criminaliens," "primitives," "leeches," and "women with mustaches and VD." Wait, what?

The Mexican Swine Flu outbreak and it subsequent media coverage: what does renowned Life Stylist Blair French have to say about it? Enough to issue an ill-advised press release, astoundingly!

Our obsession with Disney's forthcoming nature extravaganza Beverly Hills Chihuahua has resulted in feverish demands for an earlier release date and, failing that, an unabating anticipation of the day when we can plunk down our $10 for studio's garish, G-rated monument to ethno-canine stereotypes. The bastards appear to be listening, however, as a new teaser making the rounds features the angry, George Lopez-voiced hero Papi rallying the diminutive troops, wetting panties and calling for "mas" all-you-can-eat taco bars and "no mas" handbag accessorizing. Seriously — who can wait for this?