It should not have been a big deal when an academic journal at Stanford repeatedly suggested Michael Bloomberg would be a good education president, and it definitely should not have turned into an embarrassing little scandal. But a scandal is exactly what has ensued, because the mayor's sad inability to publicly acknowledge his misguided presidential ambition has left everyone terrified of offering him the slightest encouragement. The article included the ridiculous picture at left and said "many people think [Bloomberg] should be president" and that if he ran, "Americans might have a renewed opportunity to ponder the state of American education." In the chaotic aftermath of the Bloomberg-friendly piece, a journal board member resigned, the author acknowledged "we barely see a blip" in education after six years under Bloomberg and none of the three board members contacted by the Sun think Bloomberg should run for president. In other words, no one wants to be responsible for having encouraged him. [NY Sun]

Mike Bloomberg sez Hillary's got the nomination sewn up, implies that she can't beat McCain, and says ("jokingly") that "Hillary should pray [he] get[s] in the race." Uh... he might strip away some of McCain's independent support but does he really think a moderate New York mayor would draw more voters from the war-mongering war hero than the hawkish Dem Senator from New York? He'd be a Ron Paul whose supporters are all CEOs instead of angry internet nerds. [NYM]

Rich people across the nation (or more specifically rich people residing exclusively in New York and California) are thrilled at the prospect that tiny and uninspiring mayor Michael Bloomberg may buy his way into the presidential race. Even though he lacks the charm of Ross Perot, the last zillionaire to attempt it, Bloomberg has so much money that people who only have almost as much money as him think he is probably the perfect man to run this country. So, according to the Sun, "technology entrepreneur" Jon Fisher "has held meetings with more than 100 executives and entrepreneurs during the past few months to gauge support for a Bloomberg bid and prepare a team to assist the possible campaign." Because America just loves technocrats! Bloomberg keeps denying that he's running for anything but his insane aide Kevin Sheeky keeps convincing every reporter in New York that his boss is a sure thing. [The Sun]

As you may be aware, Michael Rubens Bloomberg is the millionaire, subway-riding Mayor of New York. A native of Medford, Mass. (hence the accent), Bloomberg attended Johns Hopkins and Harvard Business School before joining the rat race on Wall Street and climbing the corporate ladder at Salomon Bros.

Billionaire non-presidential-candidate Michael Bloomberg might have been drafted for President of Robotic Efficiency by his dozens of grassroots supporters, but now they've all been seduced by angry old maverick John McCain and Bloomberg never said he wanted to be the stupid president in the stupid first place. Supporter: "I think as soon as McCain started pulling ahead, it became really clear to me that that was probably the swan song." [NYT]

In the unlikely event Michael Bloomberg is deluded enough to run for president, the New York mayor will tout his qualifications as a manager: the unfettered communication he allows in City Hall's open bullpen; the executive's ability to delegate to trusted subordinates; and the Bloomberg founder's general air of competence. It's inconvenient, then, that his financial information company, still ultimately controlled by Bloomberg and carrying his name, is such a hazardous place of employment.

Buried in his column in New York Magazine (see item #9), Jim Cramer passes on some gossip that's been going round town: that Michael Bloomberg's financial information company, which rents out terminals to Wall Street traders, is the logical acquirer of the Sulzberger family's vulnerable newspaper. The name of the TV pundit's show, Mad Money, doesn't exactly inspire confidence; nor do the bizarre money manager's notoriously erratic stock picks. But he is well-connected. And it's not the craziest notion: New York's mayor says he's not running for president; ownership of the Times would preserve his influence once his term is up.

Right in the heart of the Xmas-to-New Year's News Dead Zone, Mayor Bloomberg announced a sweeping change in the way New York City will measure poverty. The national standard remains tied, more or less, to the price of milk. Income and "annual cost of buying basic groceries" have determined who is poor in the US for four decades. Bloomberg would like to add other, more realistic standards—rent, utilities, child care—while taking into account "the value of financial assistance received, like housing vouchers or food stamps." Mike hopes this more exact method of defining who is the worst off compared to him will spread to the rest of the nation, and improve distribution of federal, state, and local aid. Also it will probably mean that there are a lot more poor people in New York than previously counted. Maybe you're one of them!

Bloomberg aides continue insisting to everyone who'll listen, take down their quotes and eventually publish them that their boss isn't planning a run for president, and then they all lay out their brilliant, Machiavellian plans for ensuring Mayor Mike the Oval Office. Today's Journal presents this unnerving hypothetical: in the event of a Subway Series presidential race, Bloomberg will seize control of the nation in a bloodless electoral coup of INDEPENDENT MODERATE INDEPENDENCE, MAVERICK-STYLE.

New York state's Traffic Congestion Mitigation Commission met yesterday to brainstorm a couple plans to reduce traffic in Manhattan. Among the suggestions: banning taxi hailing, some wacky "no driving on days when your the last number of your license plate matches the date unless it's your golden birthday" plan, that sort of thing. Many of the plans were designed to be even crazier and less likely to be approved than Bloomberg's congestion pricing proposal. A street parking price raise would generate up to $17 million a year while reducing traffic in Manhattan "about 0.5 percent"! Here is our proposal: more annoying street fairs. Look at Little Italy—traffic is blocked every damn day and the city is raising untold millions in bribes alone! Also enjoy delicious zeppole, the "ethnic" funnel cake, year round.

Ways to Cut City Traffic? Well, Maybe [NYT]

Silicon Alley Insider decided to revive one of Jason Calacanis's oldest traditions and produce a Silicon Alley 100. In doing so, the blog run by disgraced tech stock analyst Henry Blodget just proves the thoroughgoing irrelevance of the exercise. The editors' No. 1 man in New York? Mayor Michael Bloomberg. Some other highlights among the old, the rich and the boring? AOL topper Randy Falco, IAC's Barry Diller and Jupitermedia's Alan Meckler. The closest SAI comes to someone we care about is VC blogger Fred Wilson — a moneyman, not an entrepreneur. As in Calacanis's time, New York is where ideas come to be financed, repackaged, and marketed — not invented.

Barack Obama is in town, and early this morning he broke bread with Mayor Bloomberg! Everyone is very, very excited! What could this possibly indicate? A potential Obamaloomberg ticket? No sir. Everyone and their mom was informed about this get-together twelve hours ago, providing sufficient lead time for pool photography and press intrigue. Excellent PR strategy, which means this actually indicates lots of smoke! Very little fire! No way America is electing a Jew and a black man. Obama just wants to see if Mike's got any extra dirt he can throw at Giuliani down the road. Also? Presidential candidates really like having breakfast with billionaires! Go figure. And just like at any breakfast with a billionaire, the poorer man picked up the check.

A tipster tells us Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg is meeting with New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg right now! Is Zuckerberg still wearing closed-toe shoes? Anyone got a cameraphone? Send pics!

From the mailbag: "I finally feel like a real New Yorker, having stumbled upon the Sex and the City movie shooting. Granted, it was in Bryant Park, just like a previous tipster said. SJP's hair is all sorts of dark, and she was wearing a terrifying tutu thing. Big surprise. Best part, though, was Major [sic] Bloomberg apparently filming a cameo in the background. Cynthia Nixon was wearing terrifyingly high heels... Making a movie looks hella boring. But! The set was flooded with cute guys—PAs and whatever else people do on a set. They and Major [sic] Bloomberg were the high points of my experience." Martial law has taken effect in some people's minds, I guess. Blame "Sex and the City."

Billionaire Mayor Mike Bloomberg, reportedly outraged at new Pope Ratzi's refusal to guarantee the eternal salvation of Jews, atheists, homosexuals and vegans, is secretly plotting with a top aide to assume control of the Vatican sometime in 2010, Gawker has learned. Top Bloomberg aide Kevin Sheeky met in secret with a number of disgruntled Holy See officials earlier this month, and is reportedly in talks with the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of New York about just how pricey an extended "antipope" campaign would be.

Mayor Bloomberg's advice to a new father: "Take changing rather than feeding. It's quick. I don't care how dirty it is. It's quick." Also, make sure to belittle, harass, and eventually fire the mother. [Staten Island Advance via NYO]

What's up with the CCTV lovefest? It's already been established that surveillance cameras aren't all that effective when it comes to crime-fighting. Following Chicago's lead, New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg says he's looking to emulate the "ring of steel" — cameras and road barriers — that London devised to fend off IRA bombings. Bloomberg brushes off all the privacy hubbub by saying, "We are under surveillance all the time." You're naive to think otherwise. Your privacy is an illusion, much like your security. What we want to be a bit less private, though, is who's making bank off this urban paranoia.

Other than a prolonged fascination with horses and pappy-signs-my-paycheck neuroses, we've always thought that Georgina and Emma Bloomberg were fairly well-adjusted. But we're starting to wonder how many sessions they've burned up with their therapists on Daddy Bloombucks' lady-hating ways. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission announced yesterday it will sue Bloomberg, L.P., the mayor's giant media and finance company, for demoting and cutting the pay of women at the company who took federally-protected maternity leave. Bloomberg distinguished himself yesterday (with some serious irritation!) from his eponymous company, telling reporters, "You'll have to talk to Bloomberg L.P. I haven't worked there, as you know, in an awful long time." But an overlooked 2001 story in the Village Voice contains pretty amazing excerpts from Bloomberg's 1998 deposition in a sexual harassment lawsuit; it was alleged that one of his executives had raped an employee.

Michael Grynbaum—Harvard boy, former New York Observer intern, former New York Sun intern!—spent the last five weeks tailing Mayor Bloomberg. And guess what? Everyone's favorite subway-taking, straphanger advocating, public-transportation loving mayor is a total fraud. Yes! Is crazy! Two big-ass S.U.V.s wait outside his house every day, and sometimes then they drive him 22 blocks to an express stop, passing two locals. Also? He only takes the subway twice a week at this point. The N.Y.P.D. pays for the cars and drivers, and no one's quite clear on why he needs two. Unless his giant head is detachable from his little short body?

Doree and Nikola headed to the Puck Building last night for a Paris Review fundraiser. Their account, and photos, follow.
There are certain ways that one announces one's place in the social pecking order. Dalton or Spence. Summers in Nantucket, winters in Palm Beach. Really all out is the board of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. For those truly interested in becoming a part of the literary establishment, there is the Paris Review and its annual gala. Most parties for the quarterly literary journal take place at its offices in Tribeca and are generally attended by the expected assortment of nattily attired lower-level publishing types and a couple of famous writers enticed by the free drinks or the comely assistants who drink too many of them. But the Revel, as the annual benefit is called, is an entirely different animal. Tickets started at $500 and one was welcome to purchase a table for $50,000, which is the annual salary of two assistants.