Bush-era U.S. diplomat, U.N. hater and Iraq war-lover John Bolton had a terrible trip to "Manila Philippines" last weekend, but if you can front him "($2,550.00 USD )," he'll totally get out of this fix.

Last night's Saturday Night Live featured the 100th digital short so we were treated a short about the shorts that featured a bunch of call backs and cameos. Justin Timberlake, Natalie Portman, Jon Hamm and Michael Bolton were on hand to reprise previous roles and Justin Bieber host Will Ferrell joined in as well.

Just like the weekend, the 63rd Primetime Emmys are history. This year's telecast was hosted by Glee's Jane Lynch and aired live on Fox from the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles. Despite Alec Baldwin's last-minute pullout, pretty much every small screen star showed up to celebrate television's biggest night.

Paris Hilton and her boyfriend drove into a photographer and took off. Lindsay Lohan's brother finally speaks out. There's a new Real Housewife of New York. Katie Couric might return to Today. Take a crash course in Thursday's gossip.

Michael Bolton's shoddy dancing is what did him in, getting him eliminated early from the 11th season of DWTS. Afterwards, he reveals his 90-year-old mother was present to witness the drubbing taken from judge Bruno.

Dancing With the Stars, ABC's reality competition about alleged celebrities, who dance, has announced the cast for its 11th season, which premieres in late September. But who are these "stars"? And what, exactly, are they "famous" for?

Erykah Badu turns 38 today. Billionaire philanthropist and political powerbroker Ron Lauder is 65. Right-wing commentator Bob Novak is turning 78. Town & Country editor-in-chief Pamela Fiori is 65. WABC anchorman Bill Ritter is 59. Virginia Governor Tim Kaine is 51. Stylist Mark Garrison is 58. Ally Hilfiger, the "designer" and daughter of Tommy, is turning 24. And Michael Bolton turns 56 today.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Desperate Housewives star Nicollette Sheridan appeared to be very desperate to hear some feedback on her brand new boots. Sheridan said, “I picked up them when after things went south with Michael. Again. Now, I’m not so sure if they're right way to announce to the world that I'm back on the market.” The results of Sheridan’s informal survey showed that a majority of those asked were not fans of the boots, but with the caveat that they looked like they'd be really comfortable. [Photo Credit: Flynet] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

• Michael Lohan is is convinced his daughter is drinking again, and that Lindsay's relationship with Samantha Ronson is to blame. In other Lohan family news, Samantha may be writing a book about her relationship with Lindsay—whose 48-year-old father recently popped the question to his 24-year-old girlfriend, Erin Muller. [MSNBC, E!, OK]

• J. Crew CEO Mickey Drexler has gone into contract on a six-bedroom home in Wainscott for $17 million. The shingle-style home is on a three-acre lot between the ocean and Wainscott Pond, and next door to Ron Lauder's estate. [Newsday, Remax]