Michael Wolff, whose affair with a 28-year-old Vanity Fair intern and subsequent divorce were publicized all over the place, is just thinkin' about Eliot Spitzer, today.

We're not sure why CNBC would have picked Michael Wolff, of all people, to come on to talk about how disgraced CEOs and celebrities can go about restoring their damaged reputations—and it's also a mystery why Wolff would have accepted such an ironic invite—but maybe he was just hoping to pick up a tip or two from the other guests on the panel? Unfortunately for Wolff, just as he got done explaining why a Lindsay Lohan reality show would be a huge rating success—you think?—some sort of technical glitch occurred and kind of ruined Michael's moment. Oh, well. We'll just have to look forward to next week when Wolff appears on camera to talk about what qualities to look for when you're hiring an intern.

Michael Wolff's voicemail to CityFile is now a ringtone: "Be a man and call me."

Michael Wolff called us about 374 times last week, insisting that he needed to speak with us about our story last month that revealed Wolff has been carrying on an affair with a former Vanity Fair intern and self-described "femme fatale" named Victoria Floethe. We didn't bother talking to Wolff, mainly because although he says he plans to write about his "downfall" in an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair, we hear editor-in-chief Graydon Carter would really rather Wolff indulge in his silly conspiracy theories elsewhere. In the meantime, though, we've put his tedious calls to good use with a Michael Wolff ringtone! You can listen to it above. Or you can download the MP3 version for your phone here. Sure, it's a huge step down from some of the other personalities we've turned into ringtones thus far (Anna! Andre! Padma! Isaac!) But we did do a Bernie Madoff ringtone a couple of months back, so Michael is in good company.

It was just over a month ago that Cityfile first reported that Vanity Fair columnist Michael Wolff was having an extra-marital affair with a young woman named Victoria Floethe. Wolff wasn't in a very good mood that day, and insisted there was absolutely no truth to the tale, adding that we'd be hearing from his lawyer for spreading such filth. We never did hear from that lawyer, and Wolff subsequently confirmed our scoop to Page Six.

At first gossip is shameful, then it becomes linkbait. Media gadfly Michael Wolff starts his daily jotting for Newser.com today: "What do men in their fifties and sixties know about girls in their twenties?"

In your magaziney Thursday media column: Maxim UK's dead in print, Airline magazines go terrestrial, Michael Wolff's Vanity Fair retribution piece, and Esquire plays with toys:

Victoria Floethe is tired of the moralizing prudes! The younger half of media beef-starter Michael Wolff's recently exposed affair is telling her side of the story: she's a free-living woman beset by Victorian gossiping hordes.

Media beef-starter Michael Wolff is getting a divorce, one month after news broke of his affair with his 28-year-old employee Victoria Floethe.

• It seems Michael Wolff is finally coming clean about intern-turned-girlfriend Victoria Floethe: The author and Vanity Fair contributor brought her to a tasting at Graydon Carter's Monkey Bar last week and now admits he and his wife Alison Anthoine are planning to divorce. [P6]
• This will probably come as a huge surprise given his upstanding reputation, but it's rumored Bernie Madoff hasn't been faithful to his wife all these years, and may have cheated on her on a couple of occasions. [R&M]
• A "friend" of Joe Biden's daughter Ashley has been trying to sell a tape of her allegedly snorting cocaine for $250,000. [NYDN]
• Madonna appeared in a Malawian court today to discuss her adoption of a four-year-old girl, but a judge put off a decision until Friday. [AP, NYP]

Last month, news broke of a rumored affair between Michael Wolff and a younger employee. A week later, rumors came out about CNN's Jeff Toobin having an affair. Now, all is quiet. Technique is everything:

Finally, we have an all-encompassing, shrink-wrapped theory of Gladwellian cogency to account for everything malignant in our society, including the financial meltdown, Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop.com, Olivia Palermo's nasty attitude toward Whitney Port, the disaster wrought by Bernie Madoff, the unrepentance of aging philanderers, and Alex Rodriguez's photo spread in this month's Details (left). It's all because of narcissism!

Michael Wolff is a lousy husband and, as we learned today, a lousy son-in-law, too. If you'd like to take a look at the lawsuit filed against Wolff and his wife by 85-year-old Edith Anthoine—she claims the pair tried to force her out of her apartment—we posted a copy of it below. Earlier we listed one way Condé Nast could save a few bucks as it embarks on another round of budget cuts. Here's one more: terminate Michael Wolff's contract with Vanity Fair. We're no lawyers or anything, but we have a feeling that sleeping with an intern constitutes just cause.

• It was clear that Michael Wolff was a bad husband and a bad boss. But now it looks like he's a lousy son, too. Wolff is being sued by his poor 85-year-old mother-in-law for trying to evict her from her one-bedroom apartment so he could sell it and collect a profit. [P6]
• Chris Brown appeared in court yesterday and was charged with assault and making criminal threats. He faces four years in state prison if convicted. [NYP, Us]
• Marc Anthony touched the leg of a woman other than JLo, which means he was either "flirting with danger" or just being nice to a "longtime friend." [Star]
• Just another typical Friday: Amy Winehouse has been charged with assault for punching a fan last year. [Reuters]

Today's gossip is depressing, sorry: Robin Williams will go under the knife, Rihanna's friends are processing her Chris Brown decision and Michael Wolff is supposedly trying to kick out his mother in law.

Michael Wolff has a little critique of Barack Obama posted to Newser.com if you're interested. "A frenzy of confidence and desire"? "A desire to be loved"? "Greedy, grasping, wanting"? "A sense of sleaziness"? You'll have to excuse us: For a moment, we thought he was finally addressing this! He isn't, alas. And so the wait goes on. [Newser]

Bad: Rupert Murdoch biographer Michael Wolff is rumored to be having an affair with his younger employee. Far worse, for Wolff: this gives News Corp (and others) a chance to get back at him.

When we revealed the details of Michael Wolff's affair with a former Vanity Fair intern last week, Wolff promised his lawyer would be in touch with us, presumably to refute the charges. But it's been several days now and we've yet to hear from him. Does this mean he's not prepared to dispute the account? Or is his lawyer just busy with other matters? We're going to go with the former and "assume the extreme," an approach that Wolff himself suggested in a June 2008 Vanity Fair story entitled "It's the Adultery, Stupid." (An excerpt from the piece, which we edited a touch, is above.) But in the event we did get any of the details wrong, Michael, your lawyer can reach us at 646-723-4542. We're waiting!

Marla Maples, Anna Nicole Smith, Padma Lakshmi, Monica Lewinsky, Amy Fisher, Patricia Duff, Paula Fortunato, Cindy McCain, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss, Ellen Barkin, Katie Lee Joel: You're in fine company, Victoria Floethe! Hearty congratulations to you and Michael. Click on the photo for a large screenshot.

A staff writer at Michael Wolff's Newser, Victoria Floethe, is rumored to be having an affair with her boss. Who knew there were any media jobs still worth sleeping your way into?