As part of our ongoing inquiry into the filthy elite of New York's food and restaurant scene, today we present annotated Health Department report cards for the least sanitary restaurants that also have Michelin stars.

• Openings: Michael Huynh's OBAO opens tonight. Rye House, a Flatiron gastropub just opened; and a roundup of other spots opening shortly.
• Cafe Gitane's second location opens at the Jane Hotel tomorrow. [GS]
• Taavo Somer of Freemans and the Rusty Knot is looking to expand. [Eater]
• Add Boston to the list of locations where Shake Shack is expanding. [GS]
• If you turn up at the NYC outpost of Le Caprice and you're not famous or important enough, expect to be turned away. Even if it's empty. [NYP]
• Take the wine ratings and reviews you read with a grain of salt. [WSJ]
• A Q&A with Nick Anderer, the chef at the newly opened Maialino. [Zagat]
• The Four Seasons is going to war with a caterer by the same name. [NYDN]
• The life of a Michelin inspector doesn't sound like much fun. [NYer]

• Despite rumors to the contrary (and a recent surprise visit by inspectors from several city agencies) the Jane Hotel's Ballroom is still open. [Eater, NYP]
• Daniel Boulud is pumped about his three Michelin stars, unsurprisingly. [GS]
• The Voice's Robert Sietsema, however, would like to see Michelin disappear: "Get your radial-tire ass in gear and lay rubber out of here, Michelin Man. We've already got plenty of unreliable sources telling us where to eat." [VV]
• Hill Country is planning to open expand with a fried chicken place. [TFB]
• Chefs and restaurateurs mourn the closing of Gourmet after 68 years. [GS]
• Esquire magazine's "Best New Restaurants" list is out. [GS]
• The age-old (and elusive) hunt for NYC's best bagel. [Serious Eats]

• The new edition of the Michelin Guide is out and five spots earn a coveted three stars: Per Se, Masa, Le Bernardin, Jean Georges, and Daniel. [GS]
• Café Boulud reopens this Wednesday following a month-long refresh. [TONY]
• A roundup of restaurants opening in the next week or so. [TONY]
• Carnival, the amusement park/nightclub owned by (and located above) Bowlmor Lanes, soft opened this weekend. The grand opening this coming weekend will be hosted by none other than Paris Hilton. [NYP]
• A look back at Gourmet, which is shutting down after 68 years. [Gawker]
• Another sign o' the times: McDonald's is opening inside the Louvre. [NYDN]

• Pics inside the UWS branch of Zak Pelaccio's Fatty Crab, opening tonight. [GS]
• Time Out's Jay Cheshes says Ken Friedman and April Bloomfield's John Dory "is the best new restaurant I've visited so far this year." [TONY]
• The owners of Long Island City's Water Taxi Beach will be opening a beach bar/restaurant next to the South Street Seaport this summer. [Eater]
• Described as "fitfully enjoyable," "uneven" and "bold," Frank Bruni gives Gabe Thompson's L'Artusi one star out of four in the Times today. [NYT]
• Top Chef's Fabio Viviani is now pitching frozen pizza. [EMD]
• The L Magazine's third annual "Bar Awards" is now online. [L Mag]
• NYC's top paella place, Socarrat, is now serving lunch and delivering. [TONY]
• Paris's latest three-star chef, according to the new Michelin Guide? It just so happens to be Nicolas Sarkozy's favorite spot. Global food scandal! [Guardian]

♦ The 2009 Michelin guide will hit bookstores tomorrow. Masa has moved up to three stars, joining Per Se, Jean Georges and Le Bernardin. And Momofuku Ko, Adour Alain Ducasse, and Gilt were all added to the two-star list. [NYT]
♦ David Burke is opening up a fish bar called Fishtail David Burke on East 62nd Street. He's also changing the name of restaurant he co-owned with Donatella Arpaia, david burke & donatella, to david burke townhouse. [Zagat]
♦ Anthony Bourdain's two favorite dive bars? Holland Bar and the Distinguished Wakamba Lounge, in case you feel stalking him. [Page Six Mag]

According to Manhattan User's Guide, the top-secret, just-released (like two seconds ago) Michelin restaurant ratings are out: