• Is Heidi Klum pregnant with her fourth kid? That appears to be the case, since sketches of a gown she's planning to wear in a future Project Runway episode have made "room for a bump." [MSNBC]
• Are you a disgraced sports star or politician? Congrats: You're getting a reality TV show! Rod Blagojevich has signed on to appear in NBC's I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here, assuming a judge lets him go to Costa Rica for the taping. Meanwhile, Michael Vick is reportedly in talks to create a reality show of his own, one that will document his attempts to "make amends for his past." Your turn, Spitzer! [THR, NYP, THR]
• Looks like Barbara Bush and boyfriend Jay Blount won't be tying the knot in Kennebunkport this summer after all. And here we were hoping for both a Bush and Clinton family wedding the same month. [People]
• Dina Lohan was spotted dropping Lindsay off outside a club in LA on Monday night. Because, clearly, that's what good mothers do. [OK!, TMZ]
• That big Michael Jackson memorabilia auction? It ain't happening. [Reuters]

Jamie Foxx regrets wishing chlamydia on Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears wishes she'd never met that creep from rehab at Subway. But Hulk Hogan doesn't have to regret "totally understand[ing]" OJ Simpson.

Hannah Montana opened big, meaning we get six more years of Miley Cyrus. Fast & Furious continues to do donuts in America's muddy backyard, and those few who Observe'd did not Report good things.

Madonna and Jolie want more babies, tennis players are lesbians, American Girls: Changes for Whitney, Miley Cyrus is a literary scholar, and Chris Brown is dating again. Shame.

Christiane Amanpour talking on her cell phone outside the Time Warner Center ... Rachel Zoe shopping in Soho ... Kim Kardashian and Brittny Gastineau watching the Knicks game at Madison Square Garden ... Brad Pitt arriving at JFK ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving her West Village townhouse in the rain ... Beth Ostrosky getting into an SUV ... Jason Bateman walking around on the set of The Baster ... Miley Cyrus leaving the Peninsula Hotel ... and Katy Perry arriving at Irving Plaza for a sound check before her show.

A very futuristic-looking Matthew Broderick climbing on his scooter outside his West Village townhouse ... Larry King walking on the Upper West Side ... Minnie Driver carrying a cup of coffee in the Village ... Angelina Jolie filming scenes for her new movie on Staten Island ... Jennifer Aniston covering up her face on the way out of her hotel ... Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon leaving their apartment en route to the airport ... Miley Cyrus walking on Madison Avenue with her sister ... Early Show weatherman Dave Price arriving at JFK ... Juliette Lewis walking by herself ... Joel Osteen and his wife Victoria leaving their hotel ... David Duchovny taking his daughter to the dentist ... and Naomi Watts sitting on a bench on the set of her new movie in Brooklyn.

The return of China-eyes. Jen Aniston, miserable. What's new? Katy Perry gets peed on, while the Octomom remains bewildered and horrible. Plus, Twilight!!!

Miley Cyrus, the chestnutty star of Hannah Montana, is in New York today! A legion of fans has shown up to meet her, including Mark McLeod, a creepy Georgian who talks to her through pictures.

• Whoops! Jeremy Piven was seen eating a mercury-laden plate of tuna tartare and calamari salad last weekend, although his publicist is now denying the account. [MSNBC]
• "Insiders" say that Ivana Trump and Rossano Rubicondi did not, in fact, marry because they were hopelessly in love, but because it was all part of a deal to stir up some publicity and the two even had a contract drawn up. Our faith in romance has been crushed! [NYDN]
• How did the press know Chris Brown was in Miami with Rihanna last weekend? He told them so, silly. In related news, Rihanna is reportedly refusing to testify against him (even though prosecutors plan to move forward). And Brown is scheduled to be arraigned today, although it's unclear if he'll make a courthouse appearance. [P6, NYP, People]
• Jeff Toobin changed his Facebook status to "Married" yesterday. That'll clear everything up! [P6]

It's a shame that someone went to the trouble of hacking Miley Cyrus's Twitter account, then eschewed the imaginative vagina prose of his forebears to merely imagine X-rated episodes of The Miley and Mandy Show.

Justifiably, semi-apologies and awards-season censure aren't going far enough to repair Miley Cyrus's SlantyGate-poisoned reputation among Asians. It's going to take a lot more — like $4 billion more — to achieve litigated peace.

• Madonna is supposedly furious with Alex Rodriguez for returning to his ex-wife Cynthia after the steroid scandal broke a few days ago; we're guessing she won't be too happy with the pics of A-Rod partying with a group of girls in the Bahamas the weekend before, either. [NYDN, NYP]
• Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams are engaged. [People, P6]
• Cops will reinterview Rihanna and Chris Brown in the coming days. [NYDN]
• Mort Zuckerman had a nice, long, expensive lunch at the Four Seasons right after slashing benefits at the Daily News. [P6]
• Prince Harry has been ordered to undergo "sensitivity training." [People]

If Miley Cyrus wants to make amends with the Asian community in the wake of her scandalous, slanty-eyed snapshots, perhaps she should ring up Margaret Cho, who's just penned her a new tune.

The brutal Rihanna-Chris Brown spectacle got somehow worse, as did Miley Cyrus' racism scandal and the gossip about Gwyneth Paltrow's marriage. Must be Tuesday.

• Paris Hilton hasn't given up on her dream of musical superstardom. At a Grammy after-party on Sunday, she accosted Paul McCartney and asked him if he'd be interested in doing a duet with her. Paul politely explained that he didn't think he'd have the time. [The Sun]
• Gwyneth Paltrow didn't join Chris Martin at any of the Grammy after-parties, so he found another chick to hang out with instead. [NYDN]
• The Chris Brown-Rihanna situation has taken a turn for the worse. Rihanna's injuries are reportedly "horrific," and include bite marks, facial contusions, and a bloody nose. Brown has hired attorney Mark Geragos to defend him. Both stars have cancelled upcoming appearances. And Brown's Doublemint gum ad has already been pulled. [People, TMZ, NYP]

Miley Cyrus and her buddies here are all squinting and pulling their eyelids, but they're not racist, she explained on her blog. Just being goofy and Oriental, LOL.

Though Miley Cyrus may have been Oscar-snubbed, at least she's the frontrunner for a Tortured Logic nomination after she blamed the media uproar for her slanty-eyed play-acting on...Britney Spears's sobriety.

Kidding! It's rhetorical! Clearly it's not such a slow news day that we would actually contrive to ask that question, right? Right. But someone would — you get one guess who.

• Bruce Wasserstein tied the knot with a "much younger Asian woman" two weekends ago, although details about the billionaire's new bride remain scarce. [P6]
• Alex Rodriguez is jealous and embarrassed that Madonna has been spending so much time with 22-year-old model Jesus Luz, since it makes him look like he got "dumped for a younger stud." [NYDN]
• The City's Jay Lyon—who was named Brent Tuhton until he changed it—has scored a record contract with Universal. [P6]
• Could Mark Badgley and James Mischka really be breaking up? Who is going to design our Oscar gown? [NYDN]

Why can't people stop doing this? Following in the footsteps of at least three 2008 Olympic teams, Miley Cyrus pulled her eyelids back to look like an Asian caricature.