The appropriate response to Girls, a television program about Korean War combat surgeons for whom laughter is the only way to keep from weeping in a world gone mad, is to saw off your boyfriend's foot and mail it to a Canadian politician. But that would be illegal, and today is the 39th anniversary of Murry Wilson's death, so here is a recap.

Continuing his coverage on the homosexual community, Colbert somehow managed to keep from calling himself gay while simultaneously providing a solution to the burgeoning acceptability of gay marriage throughout North America.

Desert manhunt! Border bounty hunters are trying to locate disappeared Minutemen co-founder Chris Simcox and serve him a court order filed by his estranged wife, who claims that Simcox had threatened to kill her and their children, twice. [Washington Times]

Chris Simcox, co-founder of the Minutemen border militia and recent primary opponent of John McCain, is getting divorced. According to his wife, it's just small stuff, like how he "twice brandished a gun and threatened to shoot his family."

We were excited for the return of the Minutemen, the vigilantes who sat on lawn chairs and watch the border. But something seems to have gone wrong: The Minuteman Civil Defense Corps disbanded, right after they got everyone riled up.

The Minutemen are getting back together! (Not the band. Sorry.) The border-guarding, gun-toting vigilantes are heading to Arizona with rifles to "defend" America. Just in time for Congress to take on immigration reform. What could possibly go completely crazy?

Absolut ran an ad in Mexico showing the pre-1848 map of that country with the tagline, "In An Absolut World." The ad agency explained to the LA Times, unnecessarily, that "The campaign taps into the national pride of Mexicans." Now I see! Well, true patriots in this country aren't about to stand for some Mexicans reconquering the American Southwest via a liquor advertisement. Some internet users—even Long Islanders!—are calling for an Absolut boycott [LAT via Drudge]. That's fine with us. Xenophobes don't need to be drinking in the first place. The full version of the treasonous ad is below.