"It's a great day," newly-minted CEO Sam Zell says in an email to his "fellow investor" on his first day heading up Tribune Company. Mixing his metaphors and going for grandiose, Zell anounces an era in which the Tribune saves not just your soul but our nation's as well. "We will take intelligent risks and reward innovation," he says. "We will tear down bureaucracy and reward entrepreneurial spirit. We will compete fiercely but with integrity." We will use anaphora! We will! We will! We will! Email after the jump.