Kacey Jordan fondly recalls the green crack pipe Charlie sucked before yesterday's hospitalization. Jesse James plans a trip to Israel. Katy Perry's diet "absolutely sucks." Leonardo DiCaprio whips his hair back and forth. TGIFriday gossip.

Prince William and Kate get cuddly. Nicole Richie gets married, elephant in tow. Miley Cyrus soldiers on despite bong-ripping controversy, and Madonna is banned from TV. Sunday gossip round up is a blizzard of titillating details

Like you, I went to the New York Times homepage this morning hoping to read a charming story about Barack Obama's upbringing. Instead, I was bombarded with news that J.P. Morgan (along with the Fed) was bailing out Bear Stearns. Oh nos! And here I thought Bear Stearns and J.P. Morgan were the same company. (Not exactly true, but whenever bankers would tell me where they work, it was like you live in Murray Hill or Gramercy? Is there a difference?) I know what you're thinking. "What does this have to do with me? All my money is in credit card debt. And what does subprime mortgage even mean?" Well, funny you should ask, because subprime mortgages got Bear Stearns got into this mess.