I recently came to terms with the fact that, if I ever have babies, I will probably give them ridiculous names. (Elbow Macaroni O'Connor.) This is because I lack self-determination and thus am perpetually at the mercy of pointless trends, and also because people with cool names are actually cooler than the rest of us. I am certain of this because, as a young female with a lame old lady name, I am human evidence of the inverse of this principle.

Unsurprisingly, as she is the world's most perfect person, Gwyneth Paltrow really gets how hard it is to be a working parent. Luckily she's decided to document a typical mothering day in her newsletter Goop, for our benefit.